Against yourself

Past and present-past

Tordy

One of the intriguing moments which triggered my connection with Todd was when I finally let my guard down to introduced myself to him and mentioned my name.

He swears the heavens destined for us to be together...excitedly "Oh! You're kidding me right now. Can't you see, the reason why I am so drawn to you."

I predicted his reaction thereafter. So he affectionately calls me "Dee" as my name is pronounced "Tor-dee".  He says I already carry his first name in mine so he'd go with the last syllable. Too carried away to ignore even when I stress that mine has an 'R' in it unlike his.

I had known him to be a persistent one from our first encounter, all too well to know that he would still find a way win me back unless I stop him.

The only way I can stop him is moving on. Something I'm clearly struggling with until recently Luke found his way back into the scene just like he's doing now.

With Todd's hand firmly holding me, giving him a view of the situation I'm dealing with. He's not stupid to know that I'm having a 'lover's quarrel'.

How can I describe shocked, confused, anger and surprised in one word?

All these expressions and emotions falling into play, I take in the handsome features of the man who has managed to capture everyone's attention with his presence, appearance and aura. The man who used to be a my childhood sweetheart and is now the lover of my only dearest sister.

What is he doing here?

It seems I've been asking this same question over again. Caught up in a moment of unexpected visit from the two men I've ever fell in love with.

One from the past, the other from the present who is now an ex--or should I say my present-past?

A look of worry and concern boldly written over his face as he approaches me.

Overwhelmed by everything going on,  I forcely snatch my hand from Todd, "I -I got to go, talk to you later" I quickly say as I scurry off to the washroom to catch my breath.

My heart wants to explode at this point. I can barely hold myself together.

Silently praying that after a while of hiding, they'll both leave so I can think clearly.

After about five to ten minutes to myself, pacing back and forth, looking at the mirror to give a mental coach, washing my face and trying best to calm down... I know I can't be stuck in here forever or else Mr. Hanks might think I'm having some emergency  and will start banging to check up on me.

I don't have my phone with me to message Shannon and ask whether Todd and the guy in navy blue turtle-neck t-shirt are still around.

Forcing my feet to move, I was in time to meet Shannon face-to-face at the door.

"Girl, you alright?" She asks looking concern yet unbothered

"Yes yes I am" I respond trying to convince myself rather than her

"I'm asking coz your ass has been in there for thirty minutes and some hot gentleman keeps asking of you at the counter" she narrates and I bite my lips

Wow, thirty minutes? And I thought it was just ten.

"Umm, what is he wearing?" I asking feigning ignorance because I know Shannon can gossip.

"You asking me? You, come see for yourself coz I don't know what your ass has been up to lately that you getting the hot ones asking of you today."

I know she's jealous coz no man has shown interest in her after she left her previous boyfriend

"Shannon please, I promise I'll do whatever you ask" I beg

"Then try giving me this one?" She requests..."in the navy blue tee"

So it's Luke CurtisWeiner..

"Well OK but unless I see who it is, to be sure if that's not Mira's boyfriend, then I'll hook you guys up" I chip in

"Good. Deal!" She replies

I know it's Curtis but I wouldn't tell her that yet-- not until I've confirmed my suspicion with the next question

"Is Todd still around?" I ask

"I saw he leaving after receiving a phone call"

Perhaps an informant has notified his dad about where he is now and he's been threatened or it's his fiancee calling.

Even though I was a bit relieved after hearing that, I was still feeling dread from within.

I had wished for Curtis to also leave. It seems thirty minutes of hiding away wasn't enough to drive him out.

I know he's here because of the lie I told him at the birthday party. He's here to inquire of Nora and not because of me.

He's here because he's curious...

After so many years apart, he's still drawn to someone who knows he's called Luke.

Does he not remember that I'm the one and not Nora? Was he pretending?
These thoughts hurt me and it fuels my will to continue with the lie I created.

Have I changed so much?

So why was he here to see me?

Of course, he doesn't have my phone number and it wouldn't seem right to ask Mira for it.

Okay, I can just write Nora's phone number for him, so he goes ahead and ask her whatever he wants, to catch up for lost times.

I'm already at work and my manager wouldn't be happy seeing me lazing about chatting with customers.

But what if the conversation with Nora doesn't go well and he gets suspicious? He'll find out I'm lying which might affect things with my sister.

These rich dudes value their reputation...a lot.

Besides Nora and I haven't really planned on what to say in case he asks certain questions‐- questions that only I, can answer.

His visit is rather impromptu.

I'll need to come up with something.

Write Nora's phone number, change the last two digits then later apologise and blame it on work pressure.

This will buy me some time perfect a good plan for Nora to use.

Gathering my inner will to meet him, I walk towards the counter where he sits patiently.

I receive a warm greeting with his very expensive body cologne, smelling so good and making feel one like they're lost in paradise. I fix my attention from his casual wear to customized gold rolex watch on his left wrist that holds a glass of lemonade.

I haven't forgotten he's a left-handed person. 

Still finding it difficult looking at his face to return his gaze. I'm nervous around him and I'm sure he can sense it.

He's the kind who has attained mastery in reading body language, I can tell from the last time we met.

"Hi" I say briefly finally facing him

His glorious eyes piercing through my soul as though they're searching for something.

"Hi Tordy" He responds studying my face. Hearing him say my name feels I'm living in ancient times. So memorable.

Leaning beside the counter in a slanted position with my fingers crossed, trying to look collected,
"I was told you wanted to see me"

"Yes, and I did see you--a while ago, but you seem to be in a hurry to run away  after I did.  I just want to be sure if I was the one you were running away from or your boyfriend?"

He says with an amusing smirk.

I honestly wasn't expecting that and don't know how to react at this point.
All I could let out was "Ooh!" Placing my palm on my mouth

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