Against yourself

Sorting out the feelings

Tordy

In a complete different circumstance, I would have run towards him and hugged him so tightly to re-live my old childhood self.  I'd allow all the hidden tears threatening to fall so desperately flow freely to soak up his impenetrable leather jacket just to say the words scrambling in my hearts...

Luke, I've missed you so much. How have you been all these years.

Pull his wonderful face towards mine and say, look...it's me Tordy.

But I can't.

Here I stand, being gawked at with curious eyes watching.

"Why do you ask?" Curtis and Mira inquire in unison.

"N-Nora. She- I gossipped to her a bit about Curtis here and she requested I ask him if perchance he's Luke Weiner coz she said she knew someone who looks exactly like Curtis when I showed her a picture of him from the internet." I was just a lying mess hoping my lies will make some sense

Mira already knows I share everything with Nora so this inquisitive act of mine wouldn't be a big issue.

"Who's Nora? I'd like to meet her," Curtis says with a slight amusement in his eyes.

"Oh she's best friends with my sister," Mira answers looking at me.

"Yeah" I respond shyly, tucking my hair behind my ear and down at my phone. I was just trying to hide my embarrassed blush.

Catching my attention with his deep sultry voice, "by the way I stopped using Luke years ago. My parents had it changed to Curtis when we moved to Frankfurt in Germany. So pardon me if I'm a little stun someone still knows that name, then I'd really want to meet this friend of yours.... Nora" he looks at me.

Fighting the urge to stop any form of tears from falling. I used up all the willpower within me to suppress my emotions now.

The perks of not being bold enough to tell him the truth out of respect for his  relationship with my sister.

I just couldn't stand his strong gaze at me anymore.

"Uh ok, I- I guess I'll see to that. Well I have to go now." With shaky hands I waved at them, clutching tightly to my purse and phone in a poor attempt to stop how I was vibrating from within.

I scramble in quick-movement as I walk pass them as though I'm having an emergency I had to rush to.

"Excuse me" I say as I pass by Raina and Curtis.. "See you later at home Mi" I give my sister a brief smile

Yes. This was the emergency I needed to escape from.

I hear Mira attempting to call me to wait, but I ignored her.

Bolting out is a must.

When I finally got home, my mind was so hazy.

Luke is indeed Curtis but he's now with my sister. I mentally coached myself into reality.

I'm sure he loves her. If not why would he throw her such a lavish birthday party?

I've always wanted my sister to be happy and forget the pain we went through. So, if this guy is going to be her source of her happiness, then I need to support it.

Now Nora.

What the hell have I put myself and her into?

I couldn't force sleep as I lay on my bed looking up the ceiling. Contemplating, I had to speak with Nora...

"I understand why you did that but what if putting me in such situation turns to bit us back in the ass Dee? Now he wants to meet me!" Nora exclaims exasperatedly

Explaining the turn of events at Mira's birthday party hadn't gone so well with her and she's right.

I remain silent on facetime

"You know one lie had to be cushioned with another right? And if what I've gathered about Curtis is true, he had all the resources to dig up information about me to know whether I was really his childhood friend, hope you know that."

"I don't think he remembers me else he would've pointed out I looked familiar."

" How sure are you about that? He could've been pretending seeing you're the sister of his girlfriend. Gentlemen are very perfect pretenders compared to us ladies"

"I'm totally sure, he's not aware," quizzing sceptically

"What if he's in love with you?"
My heart jumps swiftly as Nora asks this question

"He's not. He's into my sister and whatever we shared as kids can't amount to anything after eighteen years apart." I defend myself

"Hmmm! Let me ask you one thing. You said he kept asking you if you're okay and was giving you some kind of scrunity. Don't you think that's strange if he doesn't have any feelings or care for you?"

"Could be also be because I'm his girlfriend's sister, nothing exceptional" I say

"Keep telling yourself that. Now, I gonna have to act as though I'm you.. when my name is Nora and not Tordy. Have you thought about that too?"

"Umm...we can also think of a way to not let this meet up happen. Mira knows we're friends high school and not from the same preparatory school I attended with Luke. If you bring it up that you knew him from  Schemison preparatory, he'll do a further research and find out it's a lie"

Or he might not. That's another probability.

Thinking wildly, "I don't know what to think anymore." I was out of options.

"We'll just have to prevent him from meeting me in the meantime, and say I'm not available when that time comes until we think of a perfect explanation." Nora suggests and I agree with her

"You're right. It shouldn't be that difficult" I keep telling myself this until it sinks deep.

Hope for my sake and my sister's that Curtis wouldn't be so interested in finding out the truth about this lie I've concorted.

Nora is already engaged with her long time boyfriend Gerald, the love of her life and they will be getting married by December this year.

This rules out of the probability of any affection whatsoever between her and Curtis -that may spring up- should the latter harbour any hidden feeling for his childhood best friend who happens to be me.

Curtis pov up next...