five of spades

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It feels like it takes absolutely forever for the sun to go down so that you and Levi can head to your next game. Until then, you do your best to try to find a way to coexist with him while he isn't passed out, which is more difficult than you expected. 

Levi, for lack of a better word, is annoying.

He's clean, which isn't bad, but he's almost too clean. You come out of your room after redressing the bandages on your arm and hand and find him doing a deep clean of your kitchen to the point where you think you can see your reflection in the sink. He'd already cleaned your kitchen earlier- why was he at it again? Did he have nothing better to do?

By the time you're leaving to go find a game, you're grateful for the break or to just have something else to do. You could've sworn you kept your place clean, but Levi definitely seems to think otherwise. You're both quiet as you make your way towards the edge of the city, aiming for a well lit, L-shaped, outdoor apartment complex.

The panic doesn't totally hit you until you step inside.

You actually freeze up in the doorway. It's just the door into a small room on the corner of the apartment complex, maybe a dozen or so people inside- including a trio of people who stare at you too long- but it's the damn table. It's the small table piled with phones and you hate it. God, you hate it. You can't do this.

But Levi's already at the table, so you force yourself to follow him, grabbing a phone with shaky fingers. Can you really do this? Handle another game?

Levi retreats to one of the corners of the room and you follow, accidentally bumping into one of the people in that trio you'd noticed- a blond boy that apologizes immediately- and you keep your head down as you move over to Levi. "The fuck is up with you?" he mutters.

"Fuck off," is your only retort, and you cross your arms across your chest as you try to get a handle on your breathing.

Two or three more people trickle in. Then, the speaker starts up, announcing that registration has closed, and yep, here comes the panic attack.

"Game: tag. Difficulty: five of spades."

You can't do this. No, you can't do this at all.

Your throat feels tight and suddenly, it feels like you can't breathe. I can't do this is what you want to vocalize, to put it out into the world and let Levi know that you're losing your mind, but you can't even get the words out. 

No. You're going to die. You're going to die here because you can't move, you can't think, you can't breathe. You can't function, and you can't beat a game if you can't function.

The speaker is giving instructions but you're hearing none of it. You're lost in your head. It's like you're back in that baseball stadium, laying on that concrete, heat pushing at your skin as the water rises. And your hand is stuck through that damn bolt, that bolt sticking out of the concrete, and you're going to die. You're going to die-

Something strikes your cheek.

You blink rapidly, knocked abruptly out of your wandering thoughts. Your eyes land on the only person in the room: Levi.

It takes you a second to realize what's going on. The room is empty now; the game must have started. It's just you and Levi here, and as your cheek starts to sting from impact, you notice Levi's hand lowering to his side. Your mouth drops open.

"You slapped me," you say in disbelief, hand rising to your cheek.

"Did you pay any attention?" Levi asks.

"You slapped me!" you repeat, eyebrows narrowing as you glare at him. "What the fuck!"

"You were panicking and you needed to get your shit together. We've got a game to do," he reminds you, and the logic doesn't even reach you. You're still in shock. "So get your shit together. We need to get to higher ground."

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