Red Pill.

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Sandi called in the morning, to tell me her son had been in touch to offer his apologies and a new date, to spend time with his children later in the week. I replied to say they would be ready and I accepted as long as he didn't do that to them again. I didn't tell them where they were going, just in case things, somehow, all fell through yet again. I was really shocked when Damson told me all about the conversation, how Aubrey was in tears about things and that he knew,  he was now letting the children and his mum down. He told me he said he was finding it hard to be away from me and the kids, but also added he thought he was just manipulating everybody as he did. He "wanted me to truly be happy" but my man wasn't biting down on that, at all. I wasn't too fond of the sentiment myself. 

" you know I love you Damson" his eyes heavy, weary, almost sad as were the words on my lips and soul

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" you know I love you Damson" his eyes heavy, weary, almost sad as were the words on my lips and soul. I was in love with being in love, and in my mind, I could be a wife to whoever wanted me to. Damson and I were in love
" and he does too... he said that! To me!!...so I know he was trying make me feel some type of way when he said that" knowing Aubrey, it was taking everything in him to not go all the way off.
Tell him about how much he hated seeing us together, and the fact he was glad the baby was his despite Damson's efforts to completely destroy what we had. 
" maybe that's just how he feels" he was looking at me like he wanted to ask me why I cared. How could I, when I'm supposed to love him. He was upset I could still see how he felt, still able to empathise, so maybe that meant I still had feelings for him. To him, I was still speaking on his behalf almost. The birth of our fourth child was even more reason these days, telling me he knew I wished my son was being basked upon by his birth father. I didn't deny it, but did deny his claims I didn't love him as much as o did my children father. Without saying a word, he told me he felt inadequate and I tried to make him feel I loved him.


" maybe, and it don't matter anymore, it's about these kids Ly" he was serious, about me and the " I know baby, I wish he did too" he walked over to the bed, leaning down and leaning over, to kiss my forehead

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" maybe, and it don't matter anymore, it's about these kids Ly" he was serious, about me and the
" I know baby, I wish he did too" he walked over to the bed, leaning down and leaning over, to kiss my forehead. Slowly lowering himself to the as he sat next to me.
" you sure this is what you want?" He was holding my hand, holding up the ring on my finger gently as he looked at me.
" look... I just want to be clear, before we do... truly move on and start a family of our own."
" we are getting married, we have moved on and I am clear, you're the one I love!"
" Lylee, I know you still love him,...to a certain extent"
" what! No I don't, he's the kids dad, yeah... and I wouldn't want anything to happen to him but, I don't love him..."
" so, you're sure you want to be with me?"
" of course I'm sure! What did he say to you?"
" nothing,... it's what you're saying that makes me wonder! What you're not saying"
" what ain't I saying!? You tell me since you know!!"

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