The Law of Averages | Vol III

Baby, Daddy.

The media went insane, camping outside the house to try and get a shot of my baby. They reported that Aubrey was doing the same, as was his entire family, including his dad, Sandi and to my slight shock, 40. Everyone was happy I had a healthy baby, but shocked to not have heard from me or had confirmation it wasn't Aubrey's. I was too, as soon as we got the result I threw up from crying. I knew it all along but, now my son's father and I was over it felt like I had failed him before he even got here. Damson was true to his word, with me for every appointment, at the birth like he was the father to be, but he wasn't but nothing felt different. Everything was about to become different, and the fact he was around Aubrey's kids was not okay for some. Those who wanted me to be a pen pal wife, okay with the constant cheating, which grew to come from both sides eventually.

My heart twisted up inside of my chest, asking myself how we would make it work with the three kids we had, and now we had another. I felt guilty, Damson wanted to be a dad so bad, and almost acted like he was anyways which made things feel less stressful but more sticky.  Damson truly adored all of us, but especially the baby. He would have him while I slept and help me with the kids like he had been a father for years, but I wanted it to be clear, he wasn't and I had to tell Aubrey and Sandi before the kids missed another chance to visit their dad.

Amidst the drama and people mapping out my relationships at conception at the time, I was hand in hand with Aubrey, acting alike the adoring and faithful wife. Lying to everyone even my mum, dad, and older sibling scorn was also something I definitely felt but I also sense their similar sense of relief, knowing I wasn't that low. I was so blown away by Damsons ability to make it feel like the outside world wasn't a thing for those first few weeks of the dragging of my name and his too. Our marriage was planned before the baby's birth, but somehow had hit the media and was labelled a quick fix to how I fucked up my marriage.

Entire YouTube pages dedicated to dissecting how Aubrey and I played each other and ourselves ditzes, and dismantled something we both out our blood, sweat and years of tears into. Everyone knew now, I was serious this time and was moving on. Well, some speculated the divorce was something I initiated to hurt him, and the baby being his was proof of that. It wasn't, I wouldn't ever create a life to play with it. To be honest, I knew we weren't in the right space to have a baby. But, I loved him, and wanted it to work. I wanted what my husband wanted, a baby, so, he left both me and Sophie with a new son.