Consequence

Chapter Twenty Three

As Joel made his way through the building, the old dusty floorboards strained against his weight. Climbing to the upper floors; checking out as he went to ensure the coast was clear, he felt more at ease as he reached the top. More of a vantage point should anyone try to ambush him for any reason.

He set old broken bottles by the door he barricaded; his mind content at having some sort of alarm to wake him should he need it. He got to work checking the apartment over for supplies. It seemed for a change luck had favoured him. Finding bandages and rubbing alcohol in the bathroom and tinned food in the pantry. He made quick work of the living room, setting out his sleeping back on the couch and shrugging off his backpack, setting it beside him as he kneeled on the floor. He placed the items on the coffee table in front of him; his weapons would need checking over and cleaning before he set off again as well as preparing himself a hearty meal of beef jerky and a cold tin of baked beans. He tried not to grimace at his 'dinner' for the night. It was times like this he really wished he were home in Jackson again.

He ate silently taking in his surroundings. Before travelling with Ellie and Ada; he'd never really thought about the places he'd stayed. The places he'd looted in order to find supplies while on the road. They'd just been a shelter over his head for the night, or a place to resupply to continue a job or a journey. But then the teen had started to ask questions.

Who do you think lived here?

Do you think they found their family?

Man, I hope the poor bastards got out.

Is this really all they had to worry about? It's bizarre.

He had to wonder about the people that lived in this apartment. Were they still alive? Had they stayed together and gotten to somewhere safe before the outbreak here? He doubted it. If memory served right, most places hadn't even gotten warning that the outbreak was even coming. His hazel eyes darted around at the family pictures hung on the walls. The smiling faces seeming hollow now. The young couple at the beach, at a fair and a graduation from East Colorado University; if the graduation gowns were anything to go by. Childhood sweethearts maybe? Or perhaps they met and fell in love in College. At any rate; it didn't really matter in the grand scheme of things. He'd never know for certain.

His eyes froze on a faded photograph, the frame dented and old now. The couple stood together holding each other close. One in a suit, the other in a white gown. Their wedding.

Joel felt a breath catch in his thought as he thought about his own wedding picture. Now smashed and littering his attic floor. The photograph screwed up and thrown on the ground at Ada's feet.

He felt a jolting ache spring through his heart at the thought.

God he hated himself for the things he had said to her. He hadn't meant any of it. He'd been angry and confused at the time but that still didn't give him the right to yell at her like he had.

"I reckon it'd be best for both of us to go our separate ways. Be done with this whole thing."

He wished he could take it back. The words echoing in his mind, tormenting him. That hadn't been at all what he wanted. And as he sat alone in the dark, with nothing but his flashlight to chase away the night, he missed her more than he ever thought possible.

"I mean it, Adaline. Stay the hell away from me. You and that girl of yours."

That girl. That girl. He was disgusted in himself for describing Ellie in such a way. He loved her like she was his own and he'd treated his own family like they meant nothing to him. It was like his mind was split in two. The man who'd lost his memories, lost in a world he didn't understand and the man that he was now. That he had been for the last twenty five years. It was strange remembering how he'd reacted to everything he knew to be fact now. To once question it and be so confused to the point of angry frustration, to seeing the world as it had crumpled and adapting to what was left.

Joel sat back with his back leaned against the foot of the couch. Too much thinking. Too much. He needed to focus on the task at hand, he needed to plan his way forward. If he thought too much about Ellie and Ada; he'd change his mind. Turn back and go straight home. As much as he wanted to, he knew he couldn't. He needed to keep them safe. Even if that meant them losing him once again. They'd understand. He hoped they would.

As Joel decided to turn in for the night, he put out his flashlight and settled into his sleeping bag. He failed to notice the shadows that were creeping along the sidewalk below outside. Slowly moving under broken, dead street lamps and peeking in through building windows before pausing then moving along as if almost searching for something. Like wolves on the hunt in the midnight moon, while the mighty moose slumbers on, unaware that the pack is on the prowl and out for blood.