I've always been a fast texter
Maybe it's because I'm always on my phone
Or maybe it's because I know the way some days I feel incredibly alone
So i can notice little switches when people's typing styles change
They go from typing emoji's to only a one word exchange
I try to keep the conversation going because I care about people I know
And they were responding so fast
It's weird now they're so slow
I only have a few people in my circle
Honestly I try to keep it pretty small
Friends thst i know would always pick up when I'd call
Every now and then, someone new would get an invite to join
And honestly, I'm pretty lenient. And that has hurt me alot in the past
Because they only answer when it's convenient
The undivine are the ex friends
People that you used to know so well
Because when you were really going through it
They could never tell.
The worst are the crushes
People you don't know very well
Because they might like you, but how can you tell?
Both of these categories, only test when your exciting
Because they want to be on thst list Of whoever you're inviting
To your inner circle
To your celebration
To be in the cround of your standing ovation
But the sad thing is
Before this all happened, they didn't care about you at all
Because on the list Of importance to their life
They labeled you as small.
And they have no idea you really wanted them around.
Not just when all those celebrations happened
But when you had breakdown after breakdown
But you love yourself fully, so you completely understand
Some people make the invitation list
While others get banned.
And some make a fool out of you,
You tell them you hate pickles, but because they like them you out them on your weekly grocery list
You tell them you hate country music
But heard one song that reminded you of them, now you have a Playlist full of them
You told them you'd been in love before
But after falling for you I'm not so sure that's true
I told you I don't give second chances
But you hurt me, and now I'm giving you 3rds and 4ths
I told you I didn't miss you after you left
But I lied
Because I really... really... really... fucking do.
