Girl You Fucked Before (18+)

Feeling Cute, Might Break-Up Later

"Oh my gosh," she squealed, clapping her hands. "It is! I manifested it." I hid inside my cocoon of blankets as she dealt with the delivery man. "Wait a second..." she continued. "I know you. You're the guy from that picture."

"Vanessa," she called over her shoulder. "Come out from there. You're going to want to see this."

I gingerly peered over the covers before immediately flinging them off me and leaping out of bed. Barreling towards Matt, who was lazily leaning against the doorframe with a single red rose perched in between his teeth, I threw my arms around his neck and smothered him in kisses.

Chuckling, he stumbled backwards before wincing. He pulled the stem from his mouth. "Ouch. Damn thorns." He gestured at the pizza box Quinn was clutching as she stood there staring at us, slack jawed. "Did someone order a large pepperoni?"

"How?" I stuttered.

"Let's just say that my boss agreed to let his star busboy deliver to a customer in New York who was willing to pay a very generous sum to have a taste of the best pizza that Connecticut can offer." Matt moved in closer, brushing my hair back from my face. "Happy Valentine's Day, sweetheart," he murmured, nuzzling his nose to mine.

Instantly, I burst into tears.

"Oh no, don't cry," Matt said, his voice soft and reassuring. He brushed my tears away with the pads of his thumbs. "I couldn't miss our first Valentine's Day together. You look beautiful by the way."

I wiped my snotty nose with the sleeve of my sweatshirt, my laugh watery. "You don't have to lie. I say your chances of getting laid tonight are rather high."

He leaned in to place a kiss upon my forehead. "It's the truth. You could be wearing a trash bag for all I care," he murmured. "I would still think you're the prettiest girl in the room."

Quinn cleared her throat, and my face went warm as I remembered that she was still present. "I'll just leave you two alone," she chirped with a secretive smile before slinking out the exit.

As soon as the door clicked into place, I mauled Matt with smooches. Pushing up the hem of his t-shirt, I laid my palm on his abs. "God, I forgot how ripped you feel."

I squealed as he picked me up and threw me over his shoulder. "I could never lose the memory of how you feel. Now, what did you say about me getting laid?"

Matt tossed me onto the mattress before hopping up and hovering over me. I tugged at his belt loop, pulling him in closer. "I think you've earned it. I know how much you hate driving through the city."

"You're the only one that I would ever willingly subject myself to traffic for." He moved his mouth down to my chest, nudging up my sweatshirt and planting scorching kisses on my bare breasts.

In an instant, we had shed our clothing and held each other close, the heat from our naked bodies the only warmth we needed. I clutched onto the bed sheet as he eased himself inside of me. "I love you so much," he whispered in between thrusts.

My finger tenderly followed the curve of his jawline. "I miss you every single second that you aren't here." A lone tear slipped down my cheek, and he paused.

"Don't stop." I grasped onto his shoulders, guiding him in deeper. We continued our synchronized movements, hips meeting hips and within minutes, we both climaxed into an orbit of ecstasy.

Rolling over, Matt glanced over at me, and I snuggled my head into the crook of his shoulder. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"I think I made a colossal mistake in coming to New York," I choked out.

He caressed the inside of my wrist with his thumb. "Vanessa, you dreamed of escaping the small town for something bigger. You wanted to experience the thrills that only a city such as New York could offer. Didn't you once confess to me that you didn't know who you were and what your interests are? Don't you think that this is your time to find out?"

I slowly nodded, exhaling. "But I've been so miserable ever since coming here that I haven't even had a chance to discover a path that may lead me to the answers. The only thing that I've become sure of, is how much I need you."

Matt's body stiffened at the admission. "V, I don't want to be the thing that holds you back from evolving into the real you. It breaks my heart seeing you sad all the time."

Sniffling, I shifted away so that my back was turned towards him. I curled my legs up into the fetal position and hugged them to my chest. "I'm fine. You're not preventing me from doing any of that."

Blowing out a breath, Matt dragged his hands down his face. "You just stated how miserable you were. And I can't help but feel as though I'm responsible for a large part of that. You're so focused on how much you miss me and waiting for that next opportunity where we get to be together, that you're letting your college experience pass you by."

My blood coursing cold through my veins, I narrowed my eyes. "What are you saying?" I spat out with venom.

He exhaled before muttering a swear word. Then pulling himself into a sitting position, he placed his palm gently on my back. "This is going to shatter me, and I can't believe I'm about to utter these words but in the long run, I think you'll be better for it."

My body began trembling violently as the floodgates opened to a steady stream. "Just come out with it, Matt!" I shouted, my voice hoarse.

He pulled me against his chest in a tight embrace, the anguish on his face evident. "Vanessa, I'm not doing you any favors by keeping you in a long-distance relationship. You isolate yourself in this dorm room all so that you can spend your hours on the phone with me. Can you name the bakery that serves the best cupcakes or describe the way the city twinkles at night? Do you even know which subway goes to Times Square? You might feel alright now that you don't know any of those answers but eventually, you're going to resent that you never set out to do all the things you fantasized about. You're going to resent me."

"That could never happen," I insisted. I pressed my cheek against his t-shirt, my tears soaking through the fabric as I inhaled his familiar cedarwood scent. The aroma that to me, would always mean home and comfort.

He gently removed himself from our hug. "When we began dating," he began. "I swore that I would do whatever it took to make you happy." He paused to take in a shuddering breath before continuing. "And...now it's clear what I need to do to bring you joy." His voice hitched on the words.

I shook my head vehemently, grasping his hands. "No, please don't do this. I'll transfer to UConn next fall, and I'll be perfectly content there with you and Addison by my side."

Matt smiled sadly. "You see, you said the word content. I don't want you to just be content, Vanessa. I want you to be excited and looking forward to whatever new adventure awaits you. Right now, you're just going through the motions until you can see me again."

"It's my choice, Matt!" I burst out, pointing at myself. "If this is how I choose to live my life then let me."

He nodded. "You have that right but so do I. And the decision I'm making is to break up with you."