Lightning Bug (Peter Parker)

boy

Once Jasper is oeacefully asleep, everyone else settles back down on the couches around them, Tony and Peter’s hands never stopping on Jasper. Everybody was hoping to gain some explanation from Bucky as to what just happened. 

“Before we get into this, can somebody pass me Jasper’s bag please?” Peter questions quietly. When the bag is given, he takes out a pair of airpods, gently putting them in Jasper’s ears before taking out his phone and pressing a few buttons while the Avengers all watch. 

“He has a hard time sleeping, the music helps,” is all Peter gives in explanation. 

“So, wanna tell us what just happened Bucky?” Tony asks of the super soldier, the lack of nickname and his still moving hand on Jasper’s nose giving away his barely hidden worry. 

“Everything is still a bit fuzzy but I’ll tell you everything I can. Hydra, they used me and some random woman from what I know to grow Jasper in a lab. I didn’t know about him until they brought him to my cell when I wasn’t co-operating; threatening to hurt him if i didn’t comply. He was tiny, about a week old. He fit in the palms of my hands, he was so, so small,” Bucky says looking down at his hands cupped in front of him with glossy eyes. Steve rubs his back, the touch comforting and prompting him to go on. 

“They only ever called him ‘boy’. They wouldn’t let me name him or call him anything else. I didn’t see him again until about a month later, they couldn’t get him to stop crying so they brought him to my cell and threw him in my arms to deal with and left. He was still so small, you could see every bone and joint in his tiny little body; count all of his ribs. He was covered in bruises and electrical burns already, no wonder he wouldn’t stop crying,” Bucky speaks softly, tears steadily running down his face as he never looked up from his hands. 

Suddenly he looks up at Tony, Peter, and Jasper on the couch across from him, smiling softly.

“I calmed him down by rubbing his nose, just like you are,” he looks back down. 

“After that I only saw him every couple of months. I always begged, pleaded for them to let me see him if I was good, if I complied but they never did. They only ever let me see him if he wouldn’t stop crying or stay still for an experiment. I would hold him and calm him down by rubbing his nose then I would fix him up as much I could, which of course wasn’t much; wasn’t enough.” His voice breaks on the last two words, everyone in the room could practically see his heart breaking at the thought of not being able to help his baby. 

When he was about a year old, that was when I named him. Although I couldn’t let anyone else find out I always tried to make sure that he knew he had a name, that he was Jasper, not ‘boy’. When he was six, that was the last time I saw him. I would assume that was when he had given up, stopped fighting them and just accepted the pain and suffering. That’s when they wiped me, wiped him from my mind, from my memories. I’m guessing they did the same to him,” Bucky then looks up with the most stomach curdling, heart wrenching expression and voice that anyone has ever experienced before saying one last thing and promptly bursting into sobs. 

“Ten years. I left him alone for ten years. I left my baby alone to be tortured, hurt, experimented on, and burned for ten years. Even after I was out for two years, I left him there…. Alone.” 

Steve quickly hugs his best friend, tears on his own cheeks. 

Everyone sat there in silence once Bucky had finished speaking, nobody was willing to break through the sadness and empathy clouding the room until about twenty minutes later. 

“Alright, it’s getting pretty late. Pete, why don’t you take Jasper to sleep in your room for the night. If either of you need anything just let F.R.I.D.A.Y know and i’ll be there in no time, kiddo,” Tony speaks, softly pulling his hands away from the boys. 

Peter nods, standing with Jasper still wrapped around him; one arm under his bum while the ohter hand cradles his back. He bids everybody a quiet goodnight. After he starts leaving the room, he thinks better of it, turning around and stopping in fron tof the two super soldiers. Steve pulls away, knowing Bucky needs this moment from the person who knows his baby the most. Peter kneels, crushing Bucky in a hug with the sleeping Jasper carefully and comfortably in between them. 

“He has always wanted a family. He’d never say it, but he speaks through music and he’s got about a million songs about missing his dad, wanting a dad. He’s going to remember now, and he’s going to be so happy to have you back, and he would never blame you for anything he went through. I promise.” Peter speaks quietly into Bucky’s ear, meaning every word. 

With that done, he walks to his room, setting Jasper on the bed and removing both of their pants, knowing Jasper despises sleeping in pants. He then removes the airpods, letting F.R.I.D.A.Y play the music quietly out loud instead. With all that done he lays down, pulling Jasper to his chest with a kiss on the head, before following his love into sleep.