Bad Fae | romantasy | Bad Fae #1

Chapter Twenty-Nine

"And now?"

"Now." I took a deep breath. "Now, I have eternity stretching in front of me and...I don't want to just sit around reading books or taking pleasures simply because there's nothing else to do. I want to find a passion that is all my own. One I can perfect and nurture for the rest of my immortal life."

"And you think becoming Voidsworn would give you that?" There was a note of teasing, but also a sincere question.

"I don't know. But to decide that, I need to know if it's actually an option or not."

"You have claimed fealty to the Vodreylian clan, its lords and its king. You need only prove yourself adept and Dain would not hesitate to include you in our fiann."

"Prove myself adept?" I scoffed. "I'd have thought he'd jump at any opportunity to let me kill mortals if I even hinted the thought had crossed my mind."

"Aye, mortals, yes. But mortals are not our only quarry. And mortal quarry or not, Dain would not risk you. We cannot do our jobs if we're worried that you will come to harm while trying to aid us in that job. We cannot be concerned with your protection when we have a duty to uphold. The Shaden are only so deadly because we work so well as a unit. We are joined, yes, and that gives us a significant advantage. But we have worked together so long that we are like one on the battlefield. We would all welcome you to our troop, Yana, but not before you were ready."

"And I suppose getting me ready would take too much work?" I said, realising that was likely his way of letting me down gently.

But he surprised me when he shook his head. "Certainly no more than we would be happy to give. If it's what you want, you need only say the word and we can get started."

I frowned at him. "But you have never expressed an interest in training me before."

He grinned. "You have seen the animal in all of us, Yana. Unlike Dain and Phin, I have less control over the bloodlust. I would make for a poor choice in trainer. However, there is a difference between training you to fight against us and training you to fight beside us."

We walked along in silence, finding our way out of the market, out of Aena Dorei and into the woods beyond. I knew he was giving me the time to think, which I needed. Was it what I wanted? Did I want to fight beside the Shaden, even if I knew that meant potentially assassinating mortals?

My mind's eye flew back to the night my friends had died. The terror and the pain and the blood. Their deaths still hit me viscerally. They haunted me. But the girl in the Henmar woods didn't bother me at all. She deserved what she'd got. A small fae-kind darted across the path in front of us and I had the sudden feeling the human probably deserved worse.

Yes, I could assassinate mortals...if the crime fit the punishment.

But not just that. If I learned to fight with the Shaden, if I became one of them, I could help them find the crown. I could take some control of my life, not just have my life controlled for me. Since my birth, nothing had ever really been in my control. But the fae in me – and not just Dain or Venali – gave me the opportunity to take back some of that control. If not all of it. In time.

So, I could work with them. The Shaden and any other fae I needed to. At least until I got what I wanted. Perhaps one day, I would even be strong enough to find a way to break my geas to Dain. Whether I would ever be strong enough to fulfil my mission and actually kill him would be another matter.

But whether I could kill Dain or not wasn't something I wanted to think about just then. Not while I was busy taking my first steps to being the master of my own fate.