Outer

20. The Results

I had to get another notebook and I'm almost at the end of it.

Looking at the date, It feels unreal that it's already been three weeks. Mostly. Today we'll be getting our results for whatever tests we were taking last week. I'm not excited.

My mind is too hazy. I feel more like a robot as each day goes by. This empty feeling in my head grows as time passes. My emotions have taken the reins of my daily life, and I can't control them. I wouldn't have noticed if I didn't have my notebooks, which started being used as diaries as well.

It's like I'm looking through another girl's letters to herself. The person who writes has a jumpier version of my handwriting and more vulgar speech. She's a stranger, I don't know.

But... something deep, deep inside of me claims I do know her. Something keeps telling me that I've locked her away.

But why is she coming out? What let her out of the prison I made?

I don't know why I'm asking such a silly question. I know what it was. It was this place, it's worse than the training homes. These people are evil.

"Lynx, are you paying attention?"

I look up and nod. I have to blink a few times to focus on who's in front of me. Jack. He tilts his head at me and asks, "Are you going to eat?"

I look down at my plate and nod again, "Yeah... um, Jack... where are we?"

He looks around at the green lush surrounding us, "Outside the academy. Do you want to go back inside?"

I shake my head and say, "No, this is fine. Why am I all wet?"

He smiles sheepishly and says, "You jumped in the pond back there for your tasks."

"Oh," I mumble as I watch him twist open our red bottles. What he said doesn't register until he sets a pill in my hand. "What! Why are you the only one here?! How long ago was that?!"

He blushes and says, "It was just half an hour ago. I'm the only one here because I was the only one you wanted to stay with."

"I-huh?" My face burns.

"You didn't want to get out, but when you did, you yelled at everyone to go away. Then you told me you needed to talk to me about the results," He says, pulling at his collar, "The whole academy was watching."

"Well, isn't this nice!" I mutter, popping the pill into my mouth and swallowing it down with a cup of apple juice Jack hands me. "Sorry to disappoint you, but I don't remember what I had in mind to talk about. I don't even remember getting the results. I didn't write anything down."

"I have the results. You gave me yours," he says, lifting two envelopes.

"Oh," I mumble, feeling my face burn again. It feels like I just woke up from a very long nap. He smiles and hands me mine, but I push his hand back, "No, you read it."

He looks down at it and nods, "Okay, but which one first?"

"You can pick. If you don't want to read yours aloud, then don't."

I close my notebook and try to concentrate as Jack rips open one of the envelopes. He clears his throat before beginning:

"'Dear Jackson Spencer, here are the results and latest testing. You have full power to tell or not tell anyone. We want to sort kids into pairs. They'll work together aside from their roommates unless they're grouped with one or more of their roommates, and each of their grades and decisions will impact the team'," he pauses and looks up at me. I nod at him to continue, so he does, "'The tests were to see how well you'd get along with your classmates and how well your final score would be. You'll be a color or a mix of colors. You've been sorted into group silver. You are number two, making you the second person to'- What?!"