Chapter 8: Stirrings

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Thank you so much everyone, for the kind words. It truly helps a lot. I was also pleasantly surprised and happy that no one had anything unkind to say toward Sara (she's the best, but fandoms are notoriously unkind sometimes). To give back, I thought I would recommend some M/M shows or fanfiction I have enjoyed. Please check them out and let me know your thoughts.

1. KinnPorsche (It's a fangirl's dream come to life - mafia, romance, comedy - all in one)

2. Kiseki: Dear to me (It's straight out of Wattpad - the cinematography and screenplay could be better, but it's very, very cheesy in the best way)

3. Red, White, and Blue (Enemies to reluctant friends to lovers - what's not to love?)

4. A la carte on AO3 (It's a Star Wars - Anakin/Obi-Wan love story - but it's so, so good - you will love it! I read it repeatedly!)

5. Ethics & Aesthetics on AO3 (Hannibal fanfiction, but based in a Jane Austen universe with A/B/O theme - trust me, you don't want to miss it!)

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Nov 2020

If there was one thing ICT knew better than to play cricket, it was partying. They had just finished the Sri Lankan ODI series as winners, and were now enjoying the bliss of crowned victors! It was Diwali night, the DJ was in full swing, everyone had dressed up in traditionals with their families, and most of the troublemakers had already been reprimanded for causing a ruckus. Well, not all of them, thought Shubman, as he saw Ishan and Tilak whispering to each other and cackling, which could only spell trouble.

A few minutes ago, they were sneaking ice cubes inside Yuzi's kurta (long tunic), which had earned a squawk and chase from Yuzi, laughter from the rest of the team, and a lecture from the bowling coach (which they listened to, sniggering all the while). Shubman could not wait to see who the next victim would be.

He was sitting at the open bar, a glass in hand, surveying the party. He smiled seeing the antics of grown men around kids, who were excited about the continuous mithai and fireworks they were showered with. It was a nice change, he thought, from the constant stress and scrutiny the ICT faced. His eyes fell onto Shardul, who he had coincidentally twinned with, in a sea blue kurta, which had earned them both laughs. He raised a glass to Shardul, who winked at him in response. His eyes then fell onto the tricksters of the night. Ishan, he thought, looked particularly fetching in a black kurta and his signature earrings.

And here we go again, he thought, when his eyes started tracing the contours of Ishan's face, his smile (which was out in its entire glory tonight), and his animated laughter whenever someone said something funny. Shubman tried, he really tried to look anywhere else, talk to anyone else, but his eyes had a mind of their own, and they were really determined to get him into trouble tonight, as they kept reverting to Ishan and his antics.

Days of panic and nights of waking up with dreams of tasting Ishan's skin, ever since that day of Ishan and Surya's Ramleela mandali drama, had led to this. Ishan was beautiful - Shubman knew this in an abstract sort of way. He knew about Ishan's crazy fan following, the girls who stood outside for hours to take photos with him, and the mound of fan mail that his manager seemed buried under. But he had never really thought about what it meant that he, Ishan's best friend, thought Ishan was beauty reincarnated.

He had a hard time understanding it himself - he had a month to think about it, not that Ishan was any help. Ishan had made it his mission to constantly situation himself over Shubman's back, his neck, and on one tough occasion, his lap. No one thought anything of it, as they were used to Ishan and Shubman being joined at the hip, but Shubman had been two seconds away from depositing Ishan on the ground and making a run for a cold shower. As days went by, he understood that maybe he was not entirely straight, which was a revelation that could have turned his life upside down, but it was eclipsed by a more dangerous one - he had a crush on his best friend. Ergo, the blatant checking out tonight.

It could have been worse, he thought, as he took a sip - he could have had a crush on Virat bhai, and then Anushka bhabhi would have killed him for having eyes for her man. As he chuckled to himself, he noticed a stranger walking up to Ishan. He remembered Devisha bhabhi introducing him as some newly hired sports manager, but he paid no attention then.

He was paying attention now.

The stranger was talking about something that was clearly hilarious, because Ishan would not stop laughing. Ishan was wheezing, and he grabbed the stranger's elbow to steady himself. Shubman gripped his glass tightly, but his eyes refused to stray away from the scene before him. If that wasn't all, Ishan was now showing off his biceps to the stranger, who raised his hand as if to touch them....

All right, that's enough, thought Shubman, as he left the glass on the counter, and reached Ishan in three strides. He caught his arm and hauled him off to the side, uncaring how it looked.

Ishan, as always, remained unfazed. He thought nothing of it, as he always did when Shubman behaved strangely, which pissed Shubman off to no end. Didn't Ishan notice? Didn't he care?

Ishan, oblivious to this, quirked an eyebrow in amusement, and asked,

"What's the matter, gloomy goose? Jealous much?"

Shubman froze. Did Ishan finally notice?

"You left me with Tilak to play all the pranks, what was a guy to do? C'mon, let's try hazing the new guy."

Shubman relaxed his shoulders. So Ishan had not noticed. He did not even notice when someone had flirted with him. Shubman was equal parts relieved and frustrated; nothing to be done about it now, he would just have to wait to sort his feelings during sleep, so he settled for -

"How about we light a firecracker near Siraj bhai?"

Present:

Shubman lost all his courage at Virat's voice. He had never felt so scared. What if Ishan refused to look at him? Acknowledge him? What if he kicked him out? Sara had taken one look at him, muttered a 'best of luck' to him and 'nice to see you' to Virat, and hightailed it out of there. It was safe to say that Virat dragged him more than walked with him.

When they reached the entrance of the room, Virat and Shubman looked at each other in a silent 'Here we go' gesture, and stepped in.

Rohit and a few doctors stood by Ishan's bedside. Rohit was trying to talk to Ishan in a soothing manner, and Shubman had never been more grateful for their captain so Ishan had a familiar face to look at. The doctors were monitoring the machines and looking over their reports, but they stopped when the two men entered the room.

Noticing the silence, Rohit and Ishan swiveled their faces in unison, but there was only one whose reactions mattered. Shubman raised his eyes to meet Ishan, but before he could take a step ahead, the machines hooked to Ishan's heart and lungs started blaring in alarm. The sounds seemed to push everyone into action, the doctors rushing to help the patient, while the nurses ushered all three of them out. Shubman felt like a puppet, as several hands coaxed him outside. It was worse, he thought, it was way, way worse.

Because Shubman had not seen anger or disgust in Ishan's eyes.

It was fear.

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