Amnesia [Wattys 2015]

Chapter Two

Dedicated to Leigh_ for being an amazing writer and inspiring me with her story Double Vision.

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[Edited]
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A week later, Cole greeted me at the door. "How's remembering coming along?" I asked. It has become a regular question among us.

Cole looked at me intently as I entered. I felt uncomfortable. I did dress up a little. I wore a white shirt showing more neck than most days and shorts. "Not as good," He responded. "Want to watch a movie?"

"Why not, what movie do you want to watch?"

"Your favourite, Tangled."

"Are you sure?"

"Might as well see what the fuss is about."

We went to the living room. He darkened the lights and put the CD in. I got the popcorn and settled down beside him.

He moved closer, to get the remote. I stiffened in response. I tried not to shiver because it has been so long, so long since he'd been this close. It was breath taking. He moved back, the moment lost, the spell not entirely broken. I longed for him, to touch me, to hold my hand. Most of all, I wanted him to remember.

I remembered the first time we'd watch this. We were in the cinema. We watched the movie together and I caught Cole tearing up towards the end of it.

After we left, hand in hand. Cole whispered to me, "You know I'd die if you ever left me."

I shook my head, "You've so much to live for, and I'm more likely to be at a loss without you."

"You're the only thing I live for, Jen."

I wanted to believe him. The thing was Cole was everyone's light. He was radiant like the sun. Shinning brightly and drawing moths to the flame. I loved him and I still do.

After the accident, when Cole was unconscious, I stayed awake for him. I ate in knowledge that one day he'd wake up. I never even thought that he would wake up unable to recall anything. I never thought this would happen.

Cole shifted, stretching his arm across the couch he slumped in, watching Rapunzel and Flynn meet. I watched him, how the lights touched his face, softening his features. The way his eyes focused on the screen. Then they met mine. Cheeks scarlet, I look back at the screen. I tried to watch, after all, Rapunzel was our favourite Disney flick. Unfortunately, all I could think about was Cole. I peeked at him again when I'm sure he wasn't looking.

I peeked at him several times throughout the movie. Once, when I reached for the popcorn I felt his fingers brush mine. When the movie ended. Cole shifted again, he doesn't look upset or upbeat. Just thoughtful. "Flynn shouldn't have lived," He said finally.

My heart skipped a beat. His response unnerved me.

"It makes you believe that your actions don't have consequences, it gives false hope."

It sounded so incredibly unlike Cole. I wanted to disagree but I found myself saying, "Well it's Disney." I didn't tell him he once loved how Finn had lived.

Cole scoffed. He put the bowl on the table. He was about to continue with another comment when his eyes flickered. He pressed his lips then he asked,"Have you ever gave thought to what if, I don't remember?"

"I don't like to think of it." It's scary how he'd voiced out my nightmares. What if he couldn't remember? What if it wasn't love but familiarity we had between us? "Have you told your doctor?"

Cole looked me in the eye, "Doctors only believe in science. They're bewildered. You see whatever brain injuries I had eight months ago. They're inexistent now. That means I'm supposed to remember. I'm supposed to remember my sister, you, my parents, Julian..."

"Julian?"

Then Cole tilted his head. "My best friend."

"Your best friends were Drake and I."

Cole treated everyone the same. He was a good friend to everyone. The one thing that set Drake and I apart from everyone else was the way we were the first ones he looked at when he laughed. The way he expected to be in a group with either one of us, or the both of us. The way he sometimes told us he loved us. He rarely said we were his best friends but we both knew it and that was what counted.

Cole looked thoughtful, "Muddy Brown hair, glasses, thin, short, has a dimple on one cheek, plays the guitar. Oh and he's got a tattoo on his arm."

"I can't think of anyone like that."

Cole looked like he wouldn't believe me. "There's bound to be a picture of him somewhere," Cole muttered. He stood up. "Come on," Cole said before bolting out of the room, up the stairs nearly knocking off Rochelle's roses in the process.

I'm slower not as graceful. I arrived long after he's in the room. His room now, was still messy. Clothes are on the floor. His walls had mounting boards.

Cole was beside his cupboard, going through mounting boards, I sat on his bed. Curious. "Why isn't it here?" He muttered. Then he turned to me, his hair much longer flying as he fixed his gaze on me. "How long have you known me?"

"Since we were seven."

"Have I ever mentioned Julian?"

The way he said Julian's name was so familiar. Like the way you'd say a brothers name. A doorbell rang through the house. "Can you get it?" He asked . I froze in surprise. Another un-Cole-like thing. Cole never asked anyone to do anything for him. Cole prided himself on being independent.

It was hard how one day a person you knew so well could transform into a stranger. I smiled, he doesn't notice, absorbed in his thoughts. I walked towards the door, the bells rang twice. I knew before I opened it that Drake would be there. He was slightly taller than Cole. His hair is dark, eyes are dark too. His skin was tanned, like Cole, Drake ran a lot. Drake, unlike Cole, ran short distance. As a result the muscles in his body are larger and more prominent than Cole making him look a lot larger than Cole.

He wore a black shirt, once all three of us have since we all attended the same Rise Against concert. I smiled at him, "Hey, didn't expect to see you around."

"I figured you'd be here." Drake grinned but it's forced.

I shruged.

"How is his memory?" Drake asked, conversationally.

"I..."

"DRAKE! JENNIFER!" Cole shouted. Whatever I was about to say was lost as the two of us rushed up, Drake of course running far ahead.

Cole waited for me, thankfully, "Close the door," He ordered.

I obliged, sitting on his bed, away from Drake.

Cole paced around the room, "He plays the guitar at this bar, Nightshade."

"Who?" Drake doesn't seem as bothered as I am by Cole. He took it in his stride, looking warily at Cole.

"Julian," Cole said impatiently, "Drake, can you drive us there?"

"Who's Julian?"

Softly he said, "The only one I remember."

Back then, Drake and I didn't realise that this was the fork in the road that would unfortunately change everything.

Looking back, I wondered that perhaps if this never happened, would Cole still exist.

No matter how hard Drake and I tried to stay together, to hold our fort, it seemed to be crumbling faster than we were able to build it up.