Amnesia [Wattys 2015]

Chapter Four

{Edited}

On Thursday morning at school, I was pulled in the arm by Drake, his hair was combed, he wasn't with his newer set of athletic friends, he was completely alone.

"Jennifer," He whispered, "Hey, can we have a minute to talk?"

"Um... sure?" I wanted to go in early to class, but the fact that Drake of all people wanted a word with me was enough to spike my curiosity.

We barely spoke to each other when Cole wasn't with us. He blamed me for a part of the accident that sent our best friend to a coma. I wanted to blame him to but the thought made me sick.

When the result was the same, what did it matter whose fault it was?

Relieved Drake nodded, we walked to an empty classroom. He closed and locked the door behind us. "I need to talk to you about Cole," He said straightforward. "He's not like himself."

How fitting, the only thing we talk about is the boy who brought us together. Cole.

"I'm aware," I said dryly. I think back to his commanding tone, his anger, his suspicion.

"People can change Jen," Drake added, like that'll help ease how I felt. How conflicting it all was for me to have Cole like this. To still feel the same when I wasn't even sure if he'd return the feeling. When they told me he had amnesia, I had trouble accepting it.  "He did undergo something large, maybe he won't ever be the same again."

It was apparent, I was forced to accept it. The worst part of it all was how he didn't seem to feel the same way he did before the accident. I didn't understand why Drake needed to tell me this.

It was unfair. How could you love a person one day and wake up another not feeling anything?

"Like you did after the accident," I added in shrill tone. I was on the verge of collapsing. I wasn't having a good day, not at all.

Drake was silent for a minute, I don't look at him in that minute glancing down, admiring the tiled flooring, "Jennifer, I didn't know what to say."

"You could have said anything." I remembered when I woke up. Drake was awake too. I remembered the accident, the blinding lights. I asked him then, "Where's Cole?"

He blankly stared at me then. He knew. But he couldn't vocalise it. The thing about it was how I jumped to all the worst conclusions in his silence, the truth would have been better than nothing. It was all my fault of all things. Then we never spoke to each other. Strained conversation, his short responses.

"I could have, but there was nothing right to say then. I was in shock, I could barely form a coherent sentence."

"Whatever."

"Jennifer listen, Cole isn't himself and..." He began. He looked like he needed to get it off his chest. Cole would have listened. He was always intuitive.

I'm not Cole.

"Save it, Drake."

"Don't say I didn't warn you." It's so soft I wouldn't have heard it. Drake looked at me intently, daring me to respond.

I smiled, "Playing with fire is only half the fun, the fun part is getting burned."

That evening, I drove up in my mum's car and picked Cole up. Mrs Summers came up beside Cole who stood hunched and very grumpy with her. I could hear bits of the conversation. Mostly Cole complaining about her having to walk him to my car, like a kid. I couldn't ever recall a time Cole has complained before.

He sat in the passenger seat, Mrs Summers came to my side, "Hey Jen, try not to push Cole too much."

I nodded, "I won't."