White Collar Sex

chapter seventeen

Tears refuse to stop flowing, I looked in the mirror to see myself, I was clothed in a black lace gown, I hated it, I hated that I had to wear it.

It was my father funeral, the day I am going to say my final good-bye, I swallowed my Saliva trying to hold myself, it was more painful that I caused his death after I ran away, he had to tell me no to go away when he was dying

I jolted as someone touched my hands, looking at the mirror my sister Elora and my mom's reflection appeared

Mom was crying, she has reduced drastically to nothing, she cried every time, my sister held my hands, she wasn't crying, somehow she had convinced herself that dad died because he was going to be in a better place where he wouldn't have to suffer from the pains of cancer, and as crazy as it sounded it worked for her

"We are almost late, we should get going" my heavily pregnant sister said, holding my hands and leading me outside while mom followed behind.

I kept looking at the car window, and blinking continuously to hold back the tears, but it was helping, I knew I needed to be strong for my family but I wasn't even strong for myself

We got to the church, where funeral mass was to be celebrating for my dad, I looked inside and saw the people I couldn't hold back the tears, I cried like a baby.

Phoebe and Brian were there, the day I lost my dad, when I called them, they came immediately stayed with me for days before going back, constantly calling to check up on me and my family, words of encouragement and everything, remembering everything made me cry more, what else could I ask for, what surprised me the most was the presence of Sharon, Luna and Bria, they had called when they all heard the news but I didn't expect them to show up, even though I hadn't sort out things with them. I felt so loved, that people could leave what they were doing and come here to mourn with me.

Larry my ex boyfriend and also Reynold were present, not to forget Jake, he's been around all through this period, and today he came with his mom.

We sat on the front as I watched the priest start the mass

"We gathered here to celebrate........." The priest started

I looked at the coffin In my front, I knew we were going to do something like this one day, but not this soon. Dad I hate the fact that you are just lying down and not moving, no matter how how I cried or how loud the priest should you remained still, which was not you the man I grew up with, you disliked being confined in some space, and here you are in a tiny box, and refusing to come out.

My mind drifted back to when we were younger, when dad will come back from back in evening and get my Elora, Jamie and I gifts, it was little but coming from him it was the biggest gift, how we will all dance round the Sitting room and the person who get tired first will get playfully beaten and mom will sit and laugh, you sacrificed yourself all the time and we will all hop on you smacking you with our little fist

Times we were scared to sleep at night and you would leave the comfort of your bed to come share our tiny space with us just to make up comfortable, took us out when things were so good.

Not to forget when we fell ill, and you will feel us, and sing us to bed. Who will be doing all those things for us.

Before cancer came, you fought dad, you fought so hard, though cancer won but you will forever be my hero.

"Mrs Darwin to pay her tribute" my mom was called as she walked to the alter, bawling her eyes out, on how he didn't keep to their plans of staying together, how he left her to stay alone and take care of the kids, she couldn't finish due to tears. I was called up next, I stood up and looked at back my eyes caught Phoebe's she gave me a nod as I marched there

"Dad, this came quite soon, the night I received a distress call from Elora, I haven't been well since then. You left so soon, remember you said you were going to see my kids, but you didn't keep to that, I'm so sorry I couldn't stop it, I'm so sorry I had to watch you pass through such without being able to stop it or help, I'm really trying as you said to be strong for my family it's really hard, but I've got some really nice people around, and I say my final good-bye to you today which seems like a nightmare, I want you to know that I will always Make you proud, as Elora would say you are in a better place, fare well till we meet to part no more" I looked up to see everyone crying, and I joined them.

He was lowered to the ground in the cemetery, as I stood and watch, it kept playing in my head that I would see him again

"My condolences" came from everywhere, but it wasn't helping

"I hope is helps" Phoebe gave me a flower, I took it and hugged her

"Thank you" I said looking at both of them

"It alright, I just want you to be strong for yourself, your Mom and siblings, okay?" She held my face wiping the tears "it's going to fine alright?, You just have to strong" just then Sharon, Luna Bria and rest showed up

"I'm sorry" I Tried apologizing to them

"Shush, it's okay, come here" they brought me to a hug, what more can I ask for

We had a little chat before they all went away, I decided to go see my mom, Someone held my hands I looked back to see Jake, he had on a smile, he was still here despite everything thing I had said and done to him this past week, he was my fustration bag.

"Hey" he said

"Hi" I replied hugging him "thank you" I said after releasing myself from the hug

"It's nothing, meet my mom" he pointed at the lady standing close to him, formally introducing us, I wanted to laugh remembering our first encounter "mom meet Mandy my friend"

"Hi" I greeted her

"Poot girl, my heart felt condolences, so sorry you had to pass through this" she hugged me, she is so kind, she looked different from that person of the first day.

"Mom, you go wait in the car while I talk to her"

"Okay" she walked away

"She seems different" I said clearing my mind

He chuckled "she is changing, maybe because I'm not always with her as I used to, she has been adjusting"

Because the woman I met would be shock to see her son talk to a woman

"Nice" I trailed off

"So, how has it been" he asked

"We've been apart for just hours" I rolled my eyes, he has been with me since that day till now. "Anyways I'm doing better" I said

"So good to hear"

"Thank you so much for staying with me, inspite of pouring my fustration and anger at you when you are innocent, I'm really sorry" I rendered my heart felt apology and appreciation

"Now you really know who is evil" she smirked and it caused you me to laugh

"I hate you!!!" We both said in unison.

He left soon, because he needed to take his mom home, I walked back to family, they looked better, I we went home together, that was the most quiet and cold night ever.

Dad was gone for good.

Hey guys, we are in chapter seventeen, what?!

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What do you think about this chapter

Mandy is really having a rough ride in life 😪

Chapter eighteen soon

Love jenessa 😍❤️