All Because I Couldn't Say I Love You

If Only...

If only I knew what my heart was telling me. Don't know what I'm feeling, is this just a dream? If only...

💞Dove Cameron- Descendants💞

Drinking and laughing, having fun, the way pogues do at a kegger. P4L in a sense. Then we started to fight. Insensitive things thrown back and forth. Words being said in ways we could never mean, but they came out anyways. Smiles became frowns and happiness became anger. Talking became defensiveness and time was ticking.

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"...No, you're acting like a bitch!" JJ yelled.

They made their way down to the beach, him hit on her trail. She needed a minute, but JJ didn't want to fight any longer. He needed to get to the bottom of this.

"No, I'm just looking out for myself!" Kie yelled back.

"Yeah, right. I was trying to help you!" JJ fought

"Bullshit!" Kie fought back.

"Bullshit?! You wanna call this bullshit?! Well I-" JJ stopped himself.

"You fucking what, JJ?!" Kie yelled back.

"...im so fucking done with you." As soon as those words left his mouth, he regretted instantly.

She know he didn't mean it, but it didn't stop it from hurting. It was like a knife to the heart, or bullet through her head.

She didn't wait for him to finish and she didn't care enough to let him, but they're still best friends. It wouldn't have happened is he just said I love you. That's what was going through his head, but she set him off. Both saying things they didn't mean, but that hitting the hardest for them both. Kie going off alone and JJ alone with his feelings. They do the same in the moment. Think about what just happened alone. Both of their hearts wring out with pain, eyes both flooded with tears.

Kie sits down on a park bench. Alone is what she thought she was. But she wasn't.

"Whoa- you okay?" Someone asks, stopping in front of her.

"Yeah, yeah... fine..." she asked, wiping her face and looking down.

"No you aren't. You can talk to me... my name's Ashton by the way..." he says, sitting beside her.

"Kiara..." she sniffles.

"Come on... let's go for a walk. I promise I'll get you home safe... just trust me." He says with a sincere smile as he held out his hand.

She took it.

But now she wishes she didn't.

She wouldn't have if she didn't get mad at JJ in the first place.

He would've told her, he loves her.

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JJ's eyes fill with tears as she walked away.

Why did he say that? He wanted to say the exact opposite.

I love you.

I want to help you.

Let me help you.

I'm here for you, Kie.

What did I do? I can make it better.

Let me in, Kie.

But no. He said something he never meant to say. John B comes to his aid in asking what happened. He continues to tell him, but the tears keep coming. Kie had one to drink, while JJ had 3. But they were both stone-cold sober.

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Walking with Ashton was nice. Kie liked the night, and he was so sweet to her. He opens the door to small coffee shop and they walk in.

"Thought you could use some..." he said, pulling her chair out and guiding her to the seat.

"Thanks..." she responded with a small smile.

"What's your order, Kiara?" Ashton asked.

"Generally a Carmel macchiato" she responds. He nods his head and walks up to the counter.

She smiles, they talk for a little bit as he orders for them. He takes a seat.

"I don't know about you, Kie, but I consider this a date." He says with a wink.

She giggles, "you know what? Yeah, I do too. Thanks for cheering me up." She finishes.

He nods in agreement.

The only thing going through her head is what she was so upset about. Oh right. JJ. Wherever he was, she'd see him tomorrow anyways, unless she couldn't go or he didn't show up. It mattered to her if they made up, but her feelings for him, decreased, and had a small increase for Ashton as soon as he winked at. Of course, JJ was a flirt, but he didn't impact her the same way Ashton just did.

I think her body knew it was out of fear before she did. It impacted her in an unfamiliar way.

The conversation never died down, but the laughter kind of did.

"So, Kie." Kie. It reminded her of JJ. "Why were you crying earlier?" Ashton asked.

"My best friend and I got into a fight..." she drifted off with a sigh.

He frowned, walking over to her, standing behind her. She turned to look at him, he just smiled. He started massaging her shoulder as she told him all about it.

It didn't feel the greatest, but she never stopped him. That gave him the power over her.

She smiled at how sweet this was. She thanked him for listening.

"You bottle that shit up, huh?" Ashton asked, moving his hands to her arms, slowly rubbing up and down. Kiara only answers with a simple nod. "Y'know, kie, I think your friends take advantage of you." He finishes.

"No, it's my fault for not telling them things, or being open with them." She responds.

"But what if the only reason you aren't open with them, is because they don't listen to you in general." He suggests, with squeeze on her arms.

Her brain fills with that knowledge. It feeds into it, she doesn't want to believe it, but she's never thought of it that way. He's giving her a reason to try, but she can't.

"I don't know... can we not talk about this?" She whispers.

He nods, and whispers an apology in her ear, which sends shivers down her spine. He took notice of that and smirks.

Kie, why did you fall for it?

Why did you do this to yourself?

Why do you deserve this?

Kie, it's not your fault.

JJ loves you. You can't even remember why you guys fought. Get him back.

It's too late.

If only he knew what his heart was telling him.