Like Starlight and Wine (A Baldur's Gate 3 Astarion x Tav Fanfic)

15. Sanguine Hunger

"You ate animals because you were forced to," I say cautiously. "Not because you wanted to."

"I - yes," he admits reluctantly. "Yes, I ate whatever disgusting vermin my master picked. So you can see why I'm slow to trust you. But... I do trust you. And you can trust me."

Somehow, there is some truth to what he says, no matter how faint. In the short time that we've know each other, we've kept our darkest secrets from each other, but at the same time we've learned to lean on each other from the very beginning. Though warning bells are blaring through my mind, red flags raised because a literal vampire is telling me to trust him, somehow I do. He hasn't given me a reason not to so far. He even saved my life yesterday despite his weakening condition.

"I can't believe I'm saying this but... I do. I believe you." I hear the dissonant words from my own mouth and they are just as surprising to me as they are to him.

"Thank you," he says. Then, apprehensively, "do you think you could trust me just a little further? I only need a taste, I swear."

He's really asking me if he can drink my blood? I would be insane - no, completely out of my mind with madness if I were to agree to let a vampire feed on me. Yet- I remember the desperate hunger I felt when our minds were connected a few moments ago. Such a deep hunger like I've never known. He nearly died yesterday thanks to that hunger. He doesn't just crave blood. He needs it, really and truly. He's been deprived for so long because his master... whoever that person is with the terrifying eyes from his disjointed memories... wouldn't allow him.

Maybe it's time to reply Astarion for saving my life.

I take a deep breath of resolution, my body shaking with apprehension at the words I'm about to say. I don't know for certain if I can trust Astarion completely, but... I think I can?

"Fine," I say. "But not a drop more than you need, understand?"

"Really? I-" Astarion's voice stutters in utter surprise before he reigns it back in. Then it's back to it's usual smoothness. 'Of course. Not a drop more. Let's make ourselves comfortable, shall we?"

I lower myself back down onto my bedroll, my heart thundering loudly in my ears. I have no idea what to expect as Astarion's body slowly descends over the top of mine. I feel his closeness, his breath tickling my ear and the side of my neck. I feel his eagerness. I feel like I'm being engulfed by him. He lowers his head, closer and closer. I can feel the silky wisps of his soft hair brushing against my cheek. All gentleness.

But then gentleness suddenly gives way to pain.

It's like a shard of ice into my neck - a quick, sharp pain that fades into throbbing numbness as he begins to feed. My breath catches, a small audible gasp escaping my lips, My body quivers beneath his, my pulse quickening as he pulls me into himself, burying his face deeper into my neck, hungrily. How much blood is enough? I lean into him as he drinks eagerly, losing myself in the sensation. I can feel my blood racing, coursing through both our bodies, like a strange connection tethering us to each other. Soon after, a gentle numb feeling starts to spread to my extremities. I'm beginning to loose too much blood, and Astarion is losing himself in me, his senses all but gone.

"Stop," I say, beginning to struggle against him. "That's enough."

"Mhh?" He moans lost in delirium before the sharpness of my voice grounds him back into reality. He releases his hold on me in an instant, pulling away from my neck. "Oh, of course."

As we get to our feet, I feel unsteady. But Astarion looks better than he has in days, satiated, invigorated.

"That- that was amazing," he says breathlessly, wiping a small trickle of blood from the corner of his mouth. My blood. His chest heaves as he pants, working to catch his breath. "My mind is finally clear. I feel strong. I feel... happy."

"Good, glad to know I didn't give up my blood for nothing," I say with a little bite behind my words as I work against the groggy feeling pulling at the edges of my consciousness. "Since you're so much stronger now, I'm looking forward to seeing you fight."

"Shouldn't take long," he says with confidence. "So many people need killing. Now, if you'll excuse me, you're invigorating, but I need something more filling."

Something more filling? I feel like he's already taken a good half of my blood, and he needs something more filling? How much blood does this man need?

Astarion turns to leave, but then pauses, looking back at me over his shoulder. "This is a gift, you know," he says, with perhaps the most feeling in his voice that I've heard so far. "I won't forget it."

What is this tight feeling in my chest as his eyes meet with mine? There's something about it that makes my pulse quicken inexplicably. And I don't think it's just the blood-loss talking. I feel drawn to those eyes - they're like an ocean that I can swim in... I could get lost in them...

I shake my head. Don't be ridiculous. You just let him have too much of your blood, that's all, I chastise myself. You're being delusional.

Still, I can't help but watch his board back as he stalks toward the forest. Stronger. More confident. Ready to hunt.

---

"Good morning. How do you feel?"

These are Astarion's first words to me when I wake up the next day, my body throbbing and my head pounding. But seeing the way his face has lit up, his pallid complexion less sickly, his red eyes shining with life - it almost makes everything worth it.

"I'm fine," I say, rubbing my aching temples. "I just feel a little woozy."

"It'll pass," Astarion says reassuringly, his voice oddly gentle. "Just be glad I'm not a 'true' vampire. A bite from them and you might wake up as a vampire spawn, like my good self. All of a vampire's hunger, but few of their powers."

"Is that how you can stand in the sun?" I observe. "Because you're not a 'true' vampire?"

"Oh no. I should be in cinders in this light. I hadn't seen the sun for two-hundred years before we crashed here. Someone - or something - wants me alive. They've changed the rules. Standing in the sun, wading through a river, wandering into homes without an invitation - they're all perfectly mundane activities now. As for my other quirks - Well, we can figure those out in time." He adds that last part with a teasing little tone of seduction in his voice that takes me back to the night before.. the the way his larger body felt on top of mine...

No. I shake my head, bringing myself back to my senses.

"What's causing this?" I ask. "The mind flayer's parasite?"

"That's my theory," Astarion replies plainly, "But who knows?"

"Well, if there is anything I can do to help again, just ask," I say. "We're in this together."

"Oh, you're such a sweetheart," he smiles. "I'm just glad you're being sensible about these revelations. I was worried people might turn up with torches and pitchforks. Although... There's still time." Apprehension grows on his face as our companions stalk up behind me, having listened probably most of that conversation from a distance.

"A vampire among us?" Lae'zel growls. "So be it. But should I wake with so much as a drop of blood on my neck, I will end him."

"Oh, and a quick word of warning, Astarion," Gale chimes in. "I taste absolutely awful. Keep your distance."

Seeing my companions reactions to discovering Astarion's secret, while understandable, does not sit well with me. They don't see him the way I do. He's not a monster - not the monster they've made him out to be. And aside from that, is this just a taste of what's to come if my companions ever found out that I am the true monster among us? Would my deepest fears come to pass? That I'll be killed by them - or worse, abandoned? I shudder to think...

"Enough," I say to my disgruntled companions. "We need him, whether you like it or not. We need each other to get through this."

"She's not wrong," Astarion agrees. "We're bound together, no matter what comes."

"Fine," Lae'zel gives in reluctantly. "He stays until he's no longer of use. Besides, my flesh is not so easily tasted. Unless, of course, I have offered it."

"There now," Astarion announces. "We're all friends again. Shall we go? There's a long day ahead of us."