Beyond The Gaze: A Love Unseen

Chapter 40

As I settled beside her, the glow of the fire danced in her eyes. "Ares, in everyone's life, there comes a person who becomes their guiding light, a beacon in the darkest moments. This person brings warmth when you're cold, and brightness when you're surrounded by darkness."

I looked at her, intrigued. "Who is this person, Mom?"

She ran her fingers through my hair, her touch soothing. "You may call her 'Illuma.' It's a special term for that one person who, just like the moon in the night sky, illuminates our life. They may not always be visible, but their presence is felt, and they guide us through the shadows."

I gazed into the flickering flames, absorbing the wisdom she shared. "How will I know when I meet my Illuma?"

Her smile deepened. "You'll feel a connection that goes beyond words. It's like recognizing a part of yourself in someone else. And when you find your Illuma, hold onto her, for

She'll be your constant source of light."

•••

"My Illuma...!" A low whisper escaped my lips.

I carefully unfolded another letter, reading it for the nth time. As the years passed, I almost forgot what my mom once told me. But these anonymous letters, arriving every time I experienced joy, sorrow, anxiety, or felt burdened, became a constant source of guidance—a light in my life. They offered advice when I needed it most, shared well-wishes, congratulated me on victories, and sometimes just conveyed random thoughts, always ending with her precious postscript.

I found myself drawn to her innocent perspectives, her unique outlook on the world, and her indirect confessions.

Yes...

Although she never mentioned directly that she liked me, I could interpret her feelings through the countless indirect confessions in her letters, yet not even once she mentioned the words 'like' or 'love'. It seemed she was incredibly shy, remarkably innocent, and, most importantly, she possessed a beautiful, golden heart.

Honestly, she was the one I had always hoped to find—kind-hearted, gentle, yet strong, much like my mother.

I was lucky enough to find "My Illuma" without even searching, so why?

Why wasn't I happy...?

Why did I feel that way when she stood before me in person?

All I had wished for in the past few months was to find my ideal girl, and here she was, yet I found myself running away.

How could I do this to her?

But why did I react the way I did?

Aubrey Anderson...

That's what she said her name was. Yet, why didn't my heart respond to her name or her presence?

Why do I feel so confused now...?

****************

"Ares! Ares!" I heard someone urgently calling my name—a voice so familiar, soft, and laced with deep concern.

"Wake up, Ares!" Her hand shook my shoulder, and I winced, creases forming on my forehead as a sudden headache throbbed.

Opening my eyes with difficulty, I found my mother's worried face immediately in view.

"Ares, you scared me. I thought something happened to you. How could you sleep like this?" She heaved a relieved sigh, her hand on my forehead.

"You've caught a fever. Mrs. Bonnet told me you came home drenched last night. How could you sleep in damp clothes?" She scolded me while retrieving a thermometer.