Be Honest (DNF)

Chapter 75: Scale

Clay's POV

"Jesus Christ, I missed this place." Nick spoke rolling his eyes back in pleaser as he bit into the steak they had just past around, me taking a bite myself nodding in agreement though he didn't see it because he was to focused on scarfing down the food in front of him. "I need to check and see if they have those oranges because that shit is always fire."

"Real," Zak said biting into one of the juicy fresh oranges. "We need to all come here more often, perhaps every other week or something." He then took the cloth that sat on his lap whipping his mouth turning to me. "What will we all do tonight since we'll all be staying the night?" the black-haired boy asked, his boyfriend and our other friends seeming to have been wondering the same thing everyone everting their attention to me.

"That's up to George, not me. Ask him." I smiled looking at the Brit, everyone then looking at George.

"Didn't you say you had an indoor pool?" The brunette asked even though he knew the answer. "We could all swim, I think I saw a pair of swim shorts within all the clothes you got for me."

I turned to the four other boys. "Do you guys want to swim after this?" I asked them and got nods from some of them and yeses and sures from the others that didn't answer with a nod.

"When we get home, I'll go grab some swim shorts for everyone. I should have some extra ones from when I was younger somewhere shoved in my swim ware drawer for Karl and Darryl." I laughed, picking up my water taking a drink form the icy liquid, shortly after placing it back down on the table the five other boys and I continuing our conversation about random topics until we had all stuffed ourselves full of the delicious food we had gotten, me giving the front desk people our check then exiting the fancy building starting up the 45-minute drive back to my house.

*   *   *

When we got home after the 45 minutes, the driving being peaceful with the comfort of my boyfriend and out friends in the car I ended up finding a smaller pair of purple and red shorts for Darryl and Karl giving the shorts to them letting them figure out what colors they would want and also telling them they can keep which ever one they ended up picking because they no longer fit me. I just gave a pair of light blue swim sorts to Zak and orange swim shorts to Nick that are mine but fit my friends seeing as we were all similar sizes, I was just taller.

George's POV

"I'll change first." I paused looking between everyone around me as I had finished fishing looking through my draw finding the dark blue swim shorts, I was talking about. "Some people can change in my room if you'd like, it shouldn't take me too long." After saying that I went into Clays bathroom and as soon as shut the door I quickly took of my hoodie in a swift motion doing the same for the rest of my clothes and before stepping into my swim shorts something stopped me. My eyes had met the mirror, and in the mirror, you could see the reflection of a weight scale by the toilet.

 How had I missed it before? Should I step on it?

Before contemplating if I should my eyes then fell on my body in the mirror. It did look different. You could still see the dainty outline of my rib cage, collar bone and small points from my pelvic bone, but my mother was right I had put on some weight. Maybe not noticeable to your average person but definitely noticeable to me. But noticeable in a way I didn't really mind which bothered me, I feel like I should care I always have so why don't I now?

I hesitate debating if I should actually weigh myself knowing that I won't be happy with whatever number would await me, no matter how much I was fine with how I physically looked in the moment, and despite being bloated after going out to eat. Quickly, I shook the thoughts from my head, slipping my dark blue swim shorts on, then taking more time in the mirror to examine my body.

From the way it curved, to the places you could see bones more defined than the others some part of me wishing-

I hear a soft knock on the door before that sound was followed by the creaking of a door opening. "Georgie, you, ok?" Clay asked browse slightly furrowed peaking in the bathroom subtly looking my body up and down before his eyes met mine.

"Yeah, I'm ok, I'll be out in a minute." I smiled faintly, Clay then shutting the door be letting out a sigh.

I took off the promise ring that sat on my ring finger off sitting it on a small tray in the bathroom next to the soap bottle but left my chain on.

I took one last look at myself getting ready to walk for the door but the urge to slide the scale out and just see how much I weighed was nearly impossible to resist.

So, I quietly and quickly walked over to where it was sliding it out and quickly stepping on it hesitantly looking down to see the number it would give me. 117lb.

I step off the scale feeling a wave of an unpleasantness wash over me, but when I looked in the mirror that unpleasant feeling being barely noticeable but still lurking. It bothered me too much how I suddenly stopped caring about my physical appearance, but the number still mattered so much to me. Why? Why?

I hate how confusing my mind can be some things just didn't make sense and being oblivious about something, anything, has always drove me insane, It's a comfort thing. I like being as educated on a topic as I possibly can whether that's getting to the bottom of why I'm feeling a certain way or a subject in school. But when I can't It gets to me, just like right now. Why would one thing matter so little and the other matter so much when they are practically the same?  I shook my head letting my eyes fall shut for a moment before re-opening them walking to the door reaching for the cold metal handle, opening it and when I did, I was met with Clay sitting on his bed, and when I walked out, he snapped his head up to mine standing up. 

"Are you ok?" He asked like he had asked again as we began walking out of his room.

"Yeah." I spoke unsure myself if that was the truth or not. "Where is everyone else?" I asked Changning the subject.

"Downstairs, Nick showed them where the pool room is. You ready?" Clay asked with a smile clearly existed to swim.

I smiled back. "Yes."

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~Word Count 1433~

If anyone was curious, in my story I made it, so George is 5'7 btw. I did research on average height for an 18-year-old and decided on 5'7 for George and then just went to a bmi reader and put random weights in till it was right on the edge of underweight and healthy weight. 117 for that height is still considered underweight but 118 is considered healthy. Now, no one take this information for the wrong please. If you're that height or any height and weigh less or more, it doesn't mean that your over or under weight. I only used the bmi reader to get a good since of what the proper proportions for what that age, gender and height would be because I am neither a boy, 5'7 or 18 years old. Everyone is perfect the way they are, and you shouldn't let your weight define you because at the end of the day it's just a number. I deeply apologize if anyone has struggled with their eating habits, as in eating too much, too little, purging etc. or has body dysmorphia or has had/is having similar thoughts to Georges about his appearance and eating habits. I really do wish I could take your pain away if you do because I know how mentally tiring it is to have thoughts constantly weighing you down. If anyone ever wants someone to talk to about those things feel free to message me through Wattpad. I hope everyone has a good day/evening/night and make sure to feed and water yourselves!

Votes would be appreciated! 💞