you belong with me - Olivia Rodrigo

I wish you were a boy

Conan is our designated driver for the night as the rest of us were all in the mood to drink. Olivia, Isa, and I walk up to his car and greet Iris and Conan, who were both in the front. I sit in the back of the car in the middle, Isa to my right, and Olivia to my left.

During the drive, we sing along to hype songs that Iris plays on the aux. I enjoy myself, feeling a good amount of tipsy now that all the drinks have settled in.

As I'm bobbing my head to the music, Isa raps the lyrics of the song next to me, and I feel eyes on the left side of my face. I turn to see Olivia observing me with a small smile on her face.

I look at her with my eyebrows raised, wondering what she's thinking. The smile on her face grows, and she leans in and whispers "You look really pretty, neighbour."

My face is already tinted pink because of the alcohol in my system, but Olivia's comment makes me blush a shade deeper.

Why does she have to say these things that make me swoon? It's gonna be really difficult getting over this girl.

I look at her, contemplating if I should say what's on my mind.

Fuck it, this may be my last night as Olivia's fake girlfriend. I might as well enjoy it.

"Not as pretty as you, neighbour," I whisper back, genuinely. Olivia grins, her eyes sparkling.

When we arrive at the party, the music is blasting and the house is filled with people dancing, chatting, and enjoying the lively atmosphere. I look around, observing Josh's house. I wonder how many times Olivia had been in here.

We walk inside, Olivia grabs my hand, and we navigate through the crowd together. As the night progresses, Olivia and I find ourselves in a more secluded area of the house. The music is still audible, but the crowd has thinned out. We sit on a couch, shoulder to shoulder, our conversation flowing easily.

We'd both had a few drinks since we've arrived. I was at the peak of tipsyness. The feeling when I was still aware of everything going on around me but everything just felt lighter and more amusing. I can tell Olivia is buzzed too. But neither of us were drunk yet.

I'm currently making corny dad jokes, to which Olivia is laughing nonstop.

I glance at her, taking in the soft glow of the party lights on her face. My eyes study her face, taking in her pretty side profile. I admire the beauty in the details - her sharp jawline, her small ears, her thick full lips, and her straight teeth.

Olivia stops laughing when she notices that I've gone quiet. She notices me just staring at her. There's a shift of tension in the air. She studies my face now, and I swore she could've looked down at my lips. It's as if the world around us slows down, and for a moment, it's just Olivia and me. She starts inching closer, her face moving closer to mine. My heart starts beating like crazy.

She's about to kiss me.

I contemplate whether I should let her or keep avoiding her kisses like I've been doing lately.

The moment is interrupted when Josh appears, looking slightly annoyed, "Olivia, can I talk to you for a minute?"

I can't help but feel a little disappointed. She was only going to kiss me because Josh was in the room.

Olivia gives me an apologetic look before standing up to follow Josh. I'm left sitting alone, watching them disappear into the crowd. I start to feel uneasy, wondering what Josh wants to talk about. Is this the moment when Olivia decides to end our fake relationship?

I stay on the couch, focusing on the music. I close my eyes and lean my head back, trying to calm my heartbeat from that moment between Olivia and me, and forget the fact that Josh may be making his move on her right now. I feel the weight of the couch press down beside me, and I open my eyes to see who it is. To my surprise, it's Jenna swaying her head back and forth with a dumb smile on her face.

She's drunk.

"Hey, Y/N," Jenna slurs, her words slightly muddled. "Having a good time?"

I manage a half-smile, trying to act casual. "Yeah, it's not bad."

I remember the last conversation I had with Jenna about her homophobic parents. I felt really bad for misjudging her and I really didn't want to lose her.

"Listen, Jenna, I've been wanting to talk to you. I'm sorry you had to go through that alone with your parents. I wish I was there for you-"

"You know, I've been thinking a lot about you. Like. A lot." she interrupts, her words drawn out.

Oh so she's drunk drunk.

I internally cringe at the state that she's in and I try to stop her before she says anything that she might regret tomorrow.

"Jenna, I think you've had a few too many. Where's Alex?"

"It's unfair, Y/N. I tried so hard to forget about you. But the moment I saw you that first day you came back, the feelings that I had all those years ago resurfaced," she slurs, leaning towards me.

She still has feelings for me.

My eyes widen and a panic settles inside of me. She's not in the right state of mind at all to be saying any of this.

She lifts her cup to her hand, about to drink more. I lift my hand to stop hers, "Jenna, I really think you should stop drinking. I don't want you to regret this tomorrow."

"You're so pretty. You really glowed up, you know? You're not the nerdy-looking Y/N I remember when we were 14."

"Okay, let's get you away from here."

I straighten my back and use my arms, trying to sit her up, but she resists, pushing her body further into the couch. I scan the room urgently, looking for Alex or one of Jenna's other friends, hoping for them to rescue me from this situation.

"I still have the bracelet, you know," she mumbles. I stop pushing and look at her.

She wanted me this whole time but she couldn't do anything because of her homophobic parents.

I stay still for a moment, realising that I should be feeling ecstatic that she just confessed to me. But instead, another girl pops up in my head and it's not Jenna.

It's all clear now. I don't want Jenna back.

I just want Olivia.

Jenna suddenly grabs my face and leans in. Oh fuck.

I quickly lean back, stretching my arms out to push her chest away. Before I can even fully process what just happened, Olivia reappears, her expression a mix of confusion and hurt.

"What's going on?"

God, why does it feel like I've just been caught cheating?

"Jenna, you need to calm down," I say, keeping my voice steady. I shoot a glance at Olivia, silently hoping she doesn't misinterpret the situation.

Jenna looks at me, her eyes intensely looking at mine. Her eyes well up with tears and her expression is full of pain

"I wish you were a boy" she whispers.

Fuck. Hearing her say that hits a sore spot in my heart. I wish this world was less cruel.