Mirrored

Chapter 2 - Kaya

New Chapter!!!📣📣📣

Warning: Ideas of suicidal thoughts and negative self talk are explored within this chapter. Please take care of yourselves and read what is most comfortable for you.

How are you guys liking the story so far? Do let me know.

Without further ado, enjoy your reading time. 🪻🌷🪻
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"Sometimes suffering is just suffering.

It doesn't make you stronger.

It doesn't build character.

It only hurts"

         - Kate Jacobs

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True to his word, the scene wasn't too bad.

The body was already disposed of and all I had to do, was discard all evidence. Clean with the right products, with the right amount, with the right amount of time.

Being efficient was key, but being meticulous was far more crucial.

Cleaning was never a problem for me. It took my mind off the storm that coursed through my head and my body continues to systematically work my way down to clean the site.

To be honest, blood wasn't something I was always comfortable with. Especially as a little girl, a small scrape of the knee with even the slightest amount of blood and I was crying my eyes out. But when you're surrounded by two boys who constantly fought with each other with the aims to increase their physical power and strength, you slowly get desensitized to it. Not to mention that it wasn't only them who fought. Ryo's- I mean Ryosuke-san's younger sister, Minori-san was also doing sparring sessions with them and even learnt to shoot with arrows and bullets. Yes bullets. Not just guns but rifles too.

She also killed my father by decapitating each of his limb as well as his head.

But I didn't care. I didn't feel anything when I was told the story from Kaito. I didn't feel sick or sad. I was happy. I never really truly cared about him and he never truly cared about me either.

Regardless, it was safe to say blood was a constant factor in my life living with them.

Placing gloves on my hands, I begin to wipe the blood spill with absorbent wipes before I create a mixture with bleach and water. Once the mixture is created, I generously pour it onto the bloodied site and let it sit there for 20 to 30 minutes or so.

During the wait time, I continue to clean around the area, not too much to make it look like everything was sparkling clean, but enough so it looked somewhat natural. But then again, all the dust was cleaned off so it looks suspicious anyway but the upper people worked with that with the police so everything is put under cover.

Noticing the bleach time was finished, I begin to wipe away the bleached content and clean the rest. After this, my for the night was done.

"You're already done?" A voice echoes through the room.

"Ah shit!" I squeal, not expecting anyone to be coming in, let alone talking to me. "Sorry, I didn't mean to, I uh..."

"Are you finished?" He questions once again, leaning against the wall, ankles crossed, dressed in a suit, minus the jacket with his sleeves rolled up to his elbows revealing a little of his irezumi tattoos and veins. Those goddamn tattoos, they were a liability.

"Um, almost yes. Why?"

He doesn't respond, but he taps his fingers against his arms and even though I can't physically hear it tapping, I can hear it tapping. The constant drumming when he is thinking. His habit.

Many say that Ryosuke Sakurazuki can't feel. Have no emotions. Apathetic. And for the most part, that was true. However, what they don't know was that he hides and drowns out all emotions. Because logically speaking, emotion never help in finding solutions.

He learnt to suppress and discard emotions and opted to analyse other people's emotions and worked and acted accordingly.

That was the problem. He had solutions to every scenario, case, problem. I acted on emotions, and nothing has ever worked out the way I wanted it to.

No matter how respected I was a few months ago, I was the traitor's daughter. No matter how hard I worked for my mother and sister, I was a disappointment. No matter how much I want to end my life and just be with it, my emotions, and the voices in my head scream at me to keep going because I needed to take care of my mother and sister. Because that was what Kenji told me to do. To take care of them.

As someone who was involved in taking his life, the least I could do was continue what he had asked for. Even if it's for a short period of time.

"You're disappearing again."

I snap back and return my attention to him. Again, this was the problem. He can recognise everything.

"And you don't have solutions." I shot back. Probably not the best choice of words given that I no longer held such position to talk back but it was out of instinct. A habit I needed to lose real quick if I wanted to survive for the sake of Kenji and my mother and sister.

He pushes off against the wall, slowly, majestically, like he owned this whole place. Truth be told, he did. Own this whole place I mean. He had this way of owning places. It didn't matter where he was, he owned it.

He walks over towards me, taking his time. That was his favorite thing to do, taking his time. It made people feel unsettled, confused. Feel fear. And unfortunately for me, that was what I was exactly feeling.

"You can pretend to the world that you're the brightest girl out there with your fake smiles and kind words, but you will never be able to deceive me. Because in reality, that organ people like to use in a metaphorical sense is already broken apart so bad no taping or glue can fix it." He says as he points at my heart. "Your mind with the voices in your head will keep telling you that nothing will work out the way you want and slowly you'll wither away like flowers when it nears summer and no one close to you, will witness it. But I will. I will watch as you lose yourself and still pretend like everything is fine. I will watch as you physically crumble apart and disappear. I will watch every second of every minute as you disappear. Keep that in mind."

And then he backs away from my personal space and leaves. Like saying such thing was a normal part of his daily life.

The worst part was, besides the part he announced he will take his leisurely time to witness my downfall, he was right. I was falling. Falling without anyone to soften the blow. I was crumbling, with no one to prevent it from worsening. I had voices. Voices constantly telling me I wasn't good enough.

Not Good Enough. Not Good Enough. Not Good Enough. End it. You're a disappointment anyway. No one would care if you disappear. No one wants you here anyway. Who cares? No one cares.

Stop. Stop. Stop! Stop!

"STOP!" I scream to myself, my voice piercing as it echoes against the walls. Haunting my own ears.

I breathe out heavily, closing my eyes, trying to calm myself down.

For the life of every god that exists calm the hell down and stop shaking. Stop being so pathetic.

Just until Mom can get back on her two feet. Just until Hikari graduates high school.

A few more weeks. Just a little more.

Then. . . then. . . then, you can end it. Then you can say you fulfilled what you promised with Kenji.

Just a little more. Just . . . a little more.