Chapter: 34

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Alex's POV:

As I opened my eyes, I squinted against the unusually bright light flooding into the room I was in. I could feel the mattress beneath me, soft and warm. As I shifted, I realized I was dressed in a silk night attire. The comfort made me want to pull the duvet over my head and go back to sleep.

I was somewhat aware that this was not where I was supposed to be; I was supposed to be at the mansion with Cody and the others, looking for the gemstone, but at that moment, I didn't care. I didn't want to be anywhere but there.

"Alex..." a soft voice drifted over the breeze that came in through the window. I moaned, not wanting to wake up. "Sweetheart, wake up."

I froze, my heart stopping in my chest. There was only one person in the world who had ever called me that, and that person wasn't even in the world anymore.

I was suddenly wide awake. I opened my eyes, blinking away the dancing spots in my vision. I looked around and realized I was in my own room. The glass door to the balcony was slid open, and a light breeze blew in through it. And then I saw her.

"Mom?" I croaked out, immediately sitting up in the bed.

She smiled her beautiful smile. "Long time, huh?"

I stared at her, unable to believe my eyes. She looked as beautiful and healthy as ever. The breeze caught her soft brown hair, lifting it slightly. Her eyes were gray just like Xander's, just as I remembered. Her skin was so naturally spotless that I'd forgotten how envious some of the women used to be when they looked at my mom.

An amused expression took over her face as she looked at me. "Don't worry. I won't take much of your time," she said as she got up from where she was kneeling on the ground and sat on the bed in front of me.

But I want you to, I thought.

"God," she muttered, examining me without her eyes betraying it. Just like Emma. "Look at you. You've grown into a beautiful young woman."

"Mom..."

"I know what you're doing is important," she said. "I know you practically have the weight of the world on your shoulders. And I know you think you have to save everyone."

Somehow, I wasn't surprised that she knew what I was going through. I wouldn't be surprised if she knew everything that was happening, so I didn't waste any time lingering on that. I paused for a moment, letting her voice wash over me before taking a deep breath.

"Because I do," I said in a small voice.

"Yes," she agreed before fixing me with a look I knew so well. "But do you have to do it on your own?"

I sighed. "I don't know how to explain it, Mom. I just... I have to be strong for everyone else. I mean, my best friends are torn, and Cody..." I shook my head.

"I understand that," she said. "But are you going to deny that you're torn? Are you going to say that you know exactly what you're doing, exactly what you're leading your friends into? Do you know what's to come and how you're going to handle it?"

Thirteen years, I thought. Even after thirteen years, she knew me better than I knew myself.

"No," I whispered. "No, I... that's exactly why I'm torn. I have no idea what I'm doing." Unshed tears began to build up in my eyes. "I'm scared, Mom. I'm scared that I'm leading my friends into something they won't be able to return from, and they don't even deserve that. I keep my guard up constantly because I'm afraid that if I let it down, my friends are going to get hurt. I dragged them into this, and I don't even know how to be a damn leader. I don't know what the hell I'm supposed to do."

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