The Lexie Project

Season 19, Episode 5 (The One With Stanislavsky)

I swear to God, you can't do anything without, like, the entire freaking world knowing about it.

The Internet is already exploding over what happened at Jax's party with Seth and it's been less than twenty-four hours.

Also, Jax hasn't texted or called me.

Ellen, the producer I didn't sleep with, is very happy. She called me this morning, woke me up. Me: hungover and still feeling like a horrible person. Her: "That was absolutely perfect. Did you see Haute Cocoa's article?"

"No," I say, doing my zombie walk to the coffee, which Noelle always makes because she's one of those annoying people who likes getting up at six in the morning to run.

"He's calling you 'Sexy Lexie'-how's that for a fun name?"

Well, okay, that's not so bad.

"What exactly is he saying about last night?" I ask.

Because nothing about my conversation with Seth was sexy. Which means...oh god. Did anyone see Jax and I-or hear us? My face turns red just thinking about it.

"Well...you and Jax. Are the rumors true?" There's a long pause in which I wonder if I'm supposed to tell her or not.

"You know what," Ellen says, "I don't want to know. Thank you for taking my advice to heart."

Like I did any of this for publicity. I don't want to be that reality TV star. But, apparently, that's all Ellen wants from me. Too bad she's not gonna get it-not all the time anyway.

I have a reputation to think about.

But if last night keeps my ratings up, then it was all worth it. It got me here-it's getting me closer to my dream. Besides, there's no such thing as bad press. The world cares about what I do. I guess that's all that really matters.

"Yeah," I say. "I mean, I appreciate you being up front with me. About the ratings and stuff."

"I always will," Ellen says. "We've got great footage for the first episode."

It airs next Wednesday. I can hear the voiceover now. This week on The Lexie Project, Lexie and her ex Seth duke it out...

They'd leave out the rumors about Jax and I, of course-that would make MetaReel look bad, not to mention that Jax is the head producer who decides what to keep and what to cut. I doubt he wants Gerri knowing what happened in his office last night.

I am a horrible person.

"I heard the T.J. Maxxx interview with you," she says. "Really good stuff. You didn't let him get away with anything."

You know T.J's crazy-popular podcast where he interviews different celebs every week? He's known for getting his guests riled up. The first time I was on his show was just after Real Life wrapped-it was my first interview with him and I guess I didn't realize quite how obnoxious he could be. All he wanted to talk about was the empty box of condoms. That's sort of his thing-he hits the rawest nerve. I didn't know that then, but I do now. So I threw my latte at him and walked out-it only had one sip left, it's not like I tried to burn him. I felt better about it when I heard that Liam Hemsworth punched him during their last interview.

I behaved when we had our little chat on his podcast yesterday morning. This time he tried to get me to talk about the newest rumor Haute Cocoa came up with about Chloe and Patrick: Is it true she's pregnant? he asks. That is so last year. And I told him that, too. That whole bump alert fiasco back when we were in high school was so not cool. Can't the media come up with anything better?