𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐄𝐧𝐞𝐦𝐲'𝐬 𝐇𝐮𝐬𝐛𝐚𝐧𝐝 || 敵の旦那様 (𝐁𝐋) ✔ [COMPLETE]

64. No tears

There was a saying in Kanglun.

And that was, "One has not experienced the height of indescribable pain until they've carried the weight of 100 boulders crushing against their chest, upon burnt skin."

Fu Lin had dismissed the saying as nonsensical because it was impractical for human beings to carry a hundred boulders upon a bare chest. He believed it was unreal that somebody would bear such pain and continue to live on.

Until the pain hit him, right then, when the General impaled his chest with his sword.

He stared unblinkingly at the figure of the General who buried the sword into his chest and stood still facing the open sky for a second. Then he collapsed, coughing blood and falling down on his back as silken blood began to crawl from beneath his armour. His three lieutenants immediately surrounded him and began tending to him. They were yelling 'General' repeatedly, shaking him and slapping his face, which was slowly losing both colour and consciousness. His chest rose for one long second and fell. 

Suddenly there was a cry from among them.

The cry brought Fu Lin back to earth as he felt the blood rushing to his head subside. When he came back to his senses, he was coughing on the ground.

Don't let it out.

Remember, he told himself, you no longer have tears to spare.

Hence he blinked his tears away as he lifted his head toward Haoran, wanting to know what's happening but he couldn't walk. His legs had gone numb from kneeling for so long. He tried to walk on his hands and felt the friction of ropes eating into his skin. Oh. That was right. He was bound.

Don't... let it out.

His brain began to cloud as he crawled like a moth that had lost its wings on the sordid ground. Sand particles stuck to his knee with every movement. He slid across the ground towards the place that was now huddled with the three lieutenants gritting their faces bearing unspilled tears, bowing their heads in respect.

As soon as he arrived at the place where the General's clothes were huddled in blood, a wave of nausea hit him. His vision turned white and suddenly he felt himself go limp. On the dry ground that housed all of Haoran's life blood, he began vomiting the contents of war rations he'd had a few hours ago.

Once he was done, and his vision cleared, he wiped his mouth and looked at the General's figure that was now unmoving and unbreathing. He seemed peacefully asleep, his fair skin turning cold and lock-like eyes now forever closed. Fu Lin's lips trembled as he crawled over like a cornered leech.

I would not cry, was what he thought as he neared.

But before he could get a good look at the General's face, he had been suddenly dragged away by the hair across the rough floor.

Fu Lin felt himself get thrown on the grass patches, scraping his face. He immediately looked up, shocked, to confront the imposing figure of Lieutenant Jiang who was getting held by the other two lieutenants to prevent him from going berserk. His face was red and swollen and thin lines of dried tears marked his face.

"The only reason I don't tear you into pieces with my sword here and throw your filthy remnants for the mad dogs to feed is because." Lieutenant Jiang spat gesturing to the bloodied body of the General. "That man there asked us to protect you and let you go. If only he didn't do something like that..."

"Jiang, stop." Shen Yue tapped his chest and said in a muffled voice, "We are bound by an oath to protect him, remember?"

"I damn well know!" He glared poisonously at Fu Lin. "And that's exactly why you're here alive and breathing–all because of his dying wish. He was smart though. He knew we wouldn't spare the likes of you Silver Mountaineers if he left wordlessly. But it is indeed unfathomable to me... what does he even see in a cowardly, emaciated piece of shit like you? So you were the cause of all his heartbreak during those times when he looked so shaken–he looked like he was dying. And now he had gone and actually died, for something as futile as you who gave him such a hard time; somebody who had never once chosen him. Never."

"He did not choose me either," Fu Lin spoke, repressing his emotions, "he didn't choose me... he chose to die–not live with the betrayal of his Empire. He chose not...to live with me."

No. That was not it at all. He knew, and yet he couldn't acknowledge the fact if he wanted to live any longer without having guilt eat away at him.

"You..." Lieutenant Jiang's sword was itching to swipe this ungrateful lizard off of the world.

"Do you realise what you're talking about? Even if he died, he's still a traitor in the Blazing Sun's eyes. They're probably going to stone his dead body for being a traitor and you think he chose anything besides you? And you dared to..."

He stood, gritting his teeth for a while. Then let go of his word as he sighed. "Go. Never appear before him from henceforth. Not even at his tomb. Your people are waiting for you. Go back and never return."

Fu Lin turned his head behind to look at a crowd of people; Silver Mountain civilians gathered to escort his escape, as planned earlier by his family. One of them, a man with greying hair, walked towards him and said, "It's time, Your Highness."

Fu Lin got up, dusting his robe and said, "Lead the way."

"Your Highness, the escape route is stationed to the east and we can make preparations right away..." The man scrunched his face in shock.

"Your Highness! You're crying?!"

"I'm not crying."

"You are, Your Highness!" The man panicked, his voice growing hysterical. "There are tears running down your face."

Fu Lin stopped himself and touched his face. Indeed, he was crying. What was he crying for? Wasn't this the ideal circumstance for him and his Empire? What right did he have to mourn about Haoran's death after all he's done?

Right there he broke.

His heart crumbled into pieces as he remembered every word of affection, every little touch and moment of tenderness Haoran had given him.

The man looked on with saddened eyes as he listened to the most heartbreaking sob and cry of longing in his life. He had never witnessed such pain and yearning in one cry.

You're a fool Haoran. An absolute fool and yet...

He hated that he only just realised this. He knew his realisation wouldn't make any difference and yet he couldn't help himself from letting the words out in a painful whisper,

"I love you Haoran." His tears fell as they warmed their way through the cold snow.

"I always have."

* * * * * 

(*_ _)人First up, my apologies for not being able to update regularly this past week! Your dear author has been a bit busy with some offline life stuff that hit every other person once in a while. 

Secondly did you enjoy the taste of tears my readers? Because I certainly did not. Haoran wasn't kidding when he said Fu Lin as lying to himself eh? At least now he acknowledged his feelings. 

 RIP Haoran. (ಥ﹏ಥ) You will be missed. 

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