The Royal Nightmare

Get well soon

"We're pregnant?" his voice was clear with a small hint of excitement as I wipe my tears and turn to look at him. I muster up a wide smile.

"Yes, we're pregnant." I say, as he shakes his head.

"You're not happy." It was a statement that left no room for agreement or disagreement. The way he knew I was pregnant before I could even suspect, the way he knew what was going on with me, even before I was ready to accept was baffling.

"I'm shocked. It will take some time to..."

"Do you want this?" his next question made my eyes widen and I look up at him shocked. It was direct, and the expected answer was to be a yes or no. I still wasn't sure if I had this choice.

"Do you want this, Tejas?" I ask as he shook his head, not in disagreement but to avoid my question. He turned to sit on the swing as he tapped the cushion beside him. I obliged and took a seat as the cool breeze swept in making me shiver. I stood in my shorts with a satin robe over it.

"Tell me, why you don't want this." He says, as I opened my mouth and couldn't find the suitable words. I had earned the title of a bad mother on the day I found out I was becoming one.

"I... I've worked hard all my life for... for the life I have today." I say as he looked away from me to stare at the darkness of the mountains ahead. "I have an upcoming promotion. If I go on maternity leave when the promotion is supposed to happen they might give the additional charge to someone who might stake a claim for permanency and... I know you think I'm greedy but..." I was saying as he spoke, still looking ahead with a stillness in his expressions.

"You're not greedy. You're ambitious. These are two very different things. A greedy woman would have surely been happy with the life I can give you and our kids, but a career oriented and ambitious woman wants a part in the life she deserves. Don't get me wrong housewives are great; my mom has been one for over 25 years now, but your desire to have a career even with such huge wealth at your disposal has made me respect you more." He says as I wipe a stray tear from my cheek.

"I also want us to have an actual relationship before we progress into parenthood. I need us to have a bond, an understanding." I say as he nods this time looking at me. "Do you want this?" I ask looking into his eyes, and searching for the truth.

"I do not want to bring a child into this world that his mother resents and blames for destroying her career." He says his face stoic as I shake my head.

"I will never resent him/her."

"Divjyot, what you need to know is that I will never resent you, whether you keep this child or not and that's something I can promise. I will never judge you for this decision nor let this be used against you in any form, but I need you to know that you are 30 and I am 34. A termination of pregnancy at this time might render us unable to have kids again. A hormonal imbalance or any other complication during this abortion may cause a grave danger to our capability to procreate."

"This child... what happened on that flight was a mistake that you apologized for, the moment you woke up." I say as he looks away unable to meet my eyes.

"I'll get an appointment to the gynecologist for a checkup and schedule a termination." He says getting up from the swing. "Come inside, it's cold out here." He says, while walking towards his bedroom.

"I'll be there soon." I couldn't meet his eyes or go inside as I sat on the swing crying. He kept the door open and I thought about it all over again at what had just happened. How my life had changed so much in a matter of few hours?

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I stir at the sudden movement opening my eyes as I feel an arm behind my back and the other holding me from my lower waist as I see his face. He had picked me up from the swing, and was carrying me towards our bedroom.

"You're up?" he asks, as I look at him with swollen eyes. "It's cold out here and you are freezing, I was just carrying you inside." He says, and I was in no mood to argue as I bury my face in the crook between his shoulder and neck and close my eyes again. I didn't realize how long I had been crying that I fell asleep and was suddenly feeling so cold.

He places me on the warm sheets as I unwillingly let go his t-shirt. My own arms and legs felt cold as ice as he covered me with a blanket. My lips quivered as I curl up into fetal position trying to conserve some body heat. I feel myself get heavier as I look up to see him placing another blanket on top of the one I had.

"I'm fine." I squeaked unable to speak as he shook his head.

"I just connected the hot water bag and it'll be warm soon." He says slipping in the blanket beside me, as I nodded, as I feel my body start shivering.

"Divjyot?" he says, as I try to keep my eyes open but could barely do so. I feel him lean over me, and take my hands rubbing his big callused ones over my little once that were growing pale by the minute. I don't remember much after that.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I woke up to an IV line plugged into the vein of my hand as I focus my eyes to find myself in my bedroom.

"Divjyot?" Tejas' face pops up over me as I squint harder. I put weight on my hands trying to get up as I feel his hand on my back.

"What happened?" I asked, as I feel a hot water bag kept on my feet and the other on my left side of the belly.

"Hypothermia." He says handing me a mug of water that emitted steam sending warmth to the cold tip of my nose. "I wanted to manage it myself with blankets, hot water bags and steam but then you fainted so I called a doctor. What were you thinking sitting outside in these flimsy shorts and tank top? You know we live away from the city near a hilly area with altitude waayyy above sea level and winter is about to start. Days are lukewarm, but temperatures dip sharply at night. You sat near a balcony letting the freezing wind just hit you." I had barely taken three sips from the mug when his fist opened before my eyes revealing three different colored tablets.

"I don't take tablets." I say, as he looks up.

"You're kidding me?" he says as I hand him the mug and shake my head. I could feel a pain make my brain throb every passing moment.

"I can take syrups, or injections. No tablets please." I say pushing his hand away as he looks at the warm mug of water and then at me. He goes to the washroom, emptying half a mug and dissolves the rest tablets into the water, grinding them with the help of a spoon. He hands it to me.

"Here." He says, as I look up at me scrunched nose.

"It'll taste weird." I say but still take it from him.

"Just drink it, in the mean time I'll get you a soup." He says, as I turn to look at his digital clock by the bedside table.

2:14 am.

"Why would you wake someone up at this ungodly hour to make soup?" I say, as he looks at me and chuckles.

"I know how to make a soup, Divjyot. I won't wake anyone up." He says, turning to leave the room.