The Royal Nightmare

Ending it sooner?

"Do you want this or not?" his words made my chest tighten at the familiar feeling of being put in a spot where one option was difficult, and the other even more difficult.

"I want this. I married you with my consent. I wasn't sure at that time about what I was getting into but I knew it wouldn't be easy. Nothing in my life was. But I think that's how I like it. I like to work for things. Anything that just falls in my lap, I feel we humans don't tend to value it more often than not." I say looking at his face. His lips curved into an impressed smile as he nods.

"That's what a UPSC aspirant prepared for an interview would answer. Now, tell me what you feel?" he says, as my mouth almost falls open.

I wanted to say that this wasn't true but it was.

The answer was more diplomatic than it was true. I had to be truthful. This had to be from both sides.

"I dreamed of a fairytale, Tejas. A loving prince, a castle wrapped with ivy's and frolicking in the candle lit hallways wearing those extra long dresses. I wanted the wind sweeping through the window into my room and waking up because of natural sunlight kissing my eyes."

"But you got a bedroom surrounded by a bedroom on either sides and you have to get out the bedroom door for access to the balcony overlooking our pool. Absolutely no sunlight on bed... and what species of ivy's would you prefer? Oh and dresses as in western ball gowns or traditional lehengas?" he says, his face clearly indicating that he was thinking something as I roll my eyes.

Is he serious?

"Who recruited you for RAW?" I asked as he chuckles.

"I was a good agent."

"You spend the past three days with me and you noticed that... No, Tejas. Money is the least of... I... This is not... UGh." Words seemed to have failed me as he stared at me clueless. "A loving prince. Those were literally the first words that left my mouth." I say my five fingers joined together in the typical Italian gesture as he looks at me and shakes his head. The hope vanishes from my face as fear grips my heart at what he might say next.

"We need to work on things that you don't already have." He says, as I squint my eyes. Hold on. Did he actually say that? "It will take time, but like we learned to co-exist we will learn to love each other. We need to get started on other things on your bucket list." He says, as I bit my lower lip clearly turned on.

"You know what my love language is?" I asked as he moved his head in a questioning way. "Effort."

He chuckles and shook his head.

"Divjyot, when we go back I might be so busy that we barely get time to have dinner together and efforts might take a back seat. The kingdom isn't my biological right but it is my responsibility. The work, the concerns, the issues and problems, sometimes they just don't seem to end. Right now, my father has everything in his control and given me this week 'off for my honeymoon'." He finger quotes the last words and continues with a more serious look in his eyes. "I want you to know that my father had one queen, and so will I. Until I'm alive you will be the only person I would want to be with. Not because I claim to be madly in love with you, or something like that but you left your home, your mom, your independence and your freedom to be with me, and the least I can do is make sure that you are treated well. It's the bare minimum."

"I can live with that." I say with a smile as he nods.

"I hope you still don't think that I am or I was cheating on you." He says, as I shrug.

"Yeah... I don't think so." I say trying to sound a little unsure as somewhere in my heart, trust has started taking root. He has always been truthful but we still have a long way ahead.

"Do you want to go back to sleep or should we start the day early?" he asks, as I smile.

"We are on vacation so, I'd like a nap." I say patting his side of the bed as he follows and gets in the blanket beside me. We were barely touching, but the warmth of him beside me was reassuring.

I had no idea why he never initiated contact or why he never so much as even kissed me.

But it was clear that he intended to stay married to me. That meant I could wait. I could be patient. I could hold onto the hope that someday I too, will enjoy marital bliss.

"Tejas?" I murmur as he shut off the soft glow lamp leaving us in the small streak of lightening coming from the dawn hours outside.

"Hmm..." he says, as I could see his silhouette. He had his hands on the pillow and under his head giving him more height.

"Have you ever loved someone?" I ask, as his face turned to look towards me.

"No." he says, his answer a curt sharp reply leaving no room for more questions. For Kaveri or anyone else. I nod with a smile and shut my eyes, ready to go back to sleep.

"Have you?" his incomplete question made me open my eyes as I smiled.

"No, but I would like to." I say, and fluttered them close again.

"And I would love to." His whisper was low but audible over the silence as I scooted close to him and placed my hand on his torso. I could feel his lungs expand in volume under my touch before they slowly contracted in an exhale. His body absorbed the shock as his hand was then kept over mine in a firm yet soft grip. I was content with what I could get.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

"She was 26. How was this not noticed for so long? That was clearly a mistake and now you..." I heard my husband speak in his mother tongue, shouting at the top of his voice. I jolted up from my bed and looked at the time. We were still on the yacht and it was 9:30 am.

I ran to the room beside me to see what was wrong.

"No, you are responsible for the death of Diana and you can't convince me otherwise." He was saying on the phone to somebody as my breath was caught in my throat.

Who the fuck is Diana now?
What trouble will befall us?
Didn't I just promise to trust him, a few hours ago?