If No One Else

ᶜʰᵃᵖᵗᵉʳ ¹⁷

I momentarily swallow down the impending feeling of another breakup, and instead search through my contacts for a name I haven't seen in months.

Theo.

☆

"Thank you so much, Theo. You're always the best." I say as I pull down his passenger mirror and give myself another once-over.

I blindly dig my hand into the purse Theo had let me borrow for tonight and search around for the unfamiliar feel of the tube of lipstick.

"You know I'm always there for you. It's the least I can do," he responds, diverting his eyes away from the road to give me a quick wink and smile. "What man was it this time, though? I've never picked you up from that neighborhood... I heard that's where all the families— wait, are you fucking a married man, Chandler?" He nearly screams as he stops at a red light and snaps his sharp glare back towards me.

A light chuckle passes through my mouth as I slowly fill the crimson color over my entire lips.

"Technically, I haven't fucked anybody recently, so no need to worry. That man can barely take care of himself, so I highly doubt he has a kid or even a wife," I say with an eye roll.

I refuse to give Theo the satisfaction of glaring back at him, so I continue to focus on the image of myself in the mirror. I close the red lipstick, and swipe my finger around the edges to clean it up.

"The light is green," I snap, still feeling his curious gaze locked onto the side of my face.

I quickly stuff the small container back into the purse and flip the mirror up as I finally sit back and enjoy the ride.

"I hope we're not going to Red Rovers..."

He playfully slams his fist against the steering wheel and shoots me another glare. "You know I love that place..." he snaps, "...but I have something else planned for tonight."

I roll my eyes, while Theo chuckles as if he's some sort of comedian.

I ignore his antics, and instead reach out to turn up the music to fill the car and my head with.

A sad smile lifts onto my face as I begin twiddling with the the loose fabric of my shirt. I want to tell Theo everything because realistically he feels like the only family that I have.

We grew up together, alongside my brother, but Theo was the only one still standing in my corner. Although he started out as just a family friend, he ended as the only brother I had left.

He was always so busy, but whenever I called him needing help with anything, he was there no matter what.

He dropped everything to be here tonight, and I felt horrible even giving him a call, but I didn't know if I could be alone tonight. It was selfish, and unfortunately I wasn't inebriated enough to not care, so I felt every ounce of guilt.

"I wanna get fucked up tonight," I whisper, feeling the weight of reality pushing against my chest.

I feel immobile. I feel useless against the growing pressure. I feel worthless.

My mind drifts to what Gael was doing... or who he was doing?

Was he thinking about me the same way I was thinking of him? Did he regret anything besides meeting me?