Research: Romance

finally

"Okay, remember, stay with me on this." I breathe, clutching my laptop to my chest, "What is it that I promised my readers when I did that interview?"

"You mean the interview that broke the internet and led to a 3-year block?" Henry, so supportively, chimed in.

"Yes, Henry," I don't care about his banter, I am beaming. "That exact one. I promised my readers a romance novel like nothing they've ever seen before, right? Something so beautifully written that it would change the genre as we know it! The romance novel of the century." 

"Yes?" Desi said hesitantly. "And you've...got an idea how to do this?"

I nodded, "I got to thinking... I know nothing about real romance. But what I do know is research."

They both affirmed this is true, and I pushed my hands out, really getting the pitch going, "Desi, when you said I didn't know what it was like to fall from a building, what did I do?" 

"You went base jumping... like a psychopath." 

"Yes!" I clapped. "I did the research, and it made that chapter! Am I right?" 

They nodded, looking with concern at one another. 

"And, Henry, remember when you said my last novel lacked realistic psychology?" 

He nodded, hesitantly, "Yes..." 

"What did I do?" I ask, raising my eyebrows. 

Henry passes another look at Desi before folding his arms over his chest, "You took psychology classes for a year and collaborated with a therapist." 

"Yes!" I clapped. "See this is nothing more than a lack of know-how! I'm not a shit-writer! I just don't know what I'm talking about!"  

Taking a breath, I feel the relief wash over me at the confirmation. I'm not a bad writer. "Not once have I ever written something I didn't know well enough to portray. We both know I'm not the type to just imagine a story or characters. No wonder I'm blocked!" 

Desi is catching on, and leans her elbows on her desk, "Are you saying you want to do the same thing for the romance novel?" 

"Why should it be any different?" I rhapsodize, "I have been reading romance novels non-stop for the last three years... I know the structure, the hooks, and the components needed to write it technically; I just need the characters and the experience to make it come to life." 

My heart is beating, but this time I feel more alive than ever, "I am going to research a few key cliches that make romance novels great, and from this experience, portray them as their actual accurate depictions. I could still write what I know and give my readers a whole new side of romance!"

"Research as in... live them?" Henry clarifies, looking doubtful. "You?"

"Well not live them, per say, but study them. I figured we could hire an actor. It would be like a simulation or preparing for a role, but instead of studying lines he would help me write them. I could use the feedback to create more 3-dimensional characters. It wouldn't just be fiction. The type of romance we all dream of could come from real-life experience."

Desi looks like she's about to explode, "I. LOVE. IT!"

Henry looks like I spit in his latte, "It makes no sense?"

"Yes, it does!" Desi and I argue. He surrenders completely outvoted.

Desi turns toward me beaming, "Show me the outline!"

"What actor is going to agree to being your fake boyfriend for months at time?" Henry interrupts again, clearly baffled by how Desi and I think this is remotely close to a promising idea.

Desi and I stared at each other, elated, "Fake dating trope!"

Another session of squealing commenced along with interrupted sentences:

"It would be just like--"

"I know!"

"And we could do all the great ones, all the ones that--"

"Exactly what I was thinking, but of course there would be no--"

"Oh, of course not! It's research not that."

"I am so glad you agree!"

"We could refer to the whole thing as: Project Romance."

"Or: Study Stereotype."

"Oh, how about: A Study in Romance?"

I gasped, covering my mouth, "I love it!"

"How about Research: Romance?" Henry chimes in sarcastically.

Desi and I roll over ourselves. Desi throws her arms up, "That's perfect, Hairy! I now christen this project as Research: Romance. I knew you wouldn't turn away from this. Look at that little marketeer brain working. Now if we can come up with a book title half as good."

Henry rolled his eyes and folded his arms over his chest. Leaning against Desi's desk with his hip he raised a quizzical brow at me. He had clearly needed more convincing but seeing us so excited was cracking that delicate shell of his. Upon seeing him lean against her desk, Desi, every so subtly, passed a look at him, and averted her eyes quickly. Henry was talking to me in the meantime.

"You do realize that if this fails it could be a PR nightmare, right? I'm talking lawsuits and your book being socially exiled. Not to mention your reputation and a movie deal at stake."

"Or" Desi counters looking at him sternly, but I can detect a faint blush starting to creep along her cheeks. Whatever she thought of when looking and Henry was clearly not very innocent. Extraordinarily little makes Desi blush. 

"You could stop being a Negative Nancy and recognize that it could be a giant success. An even greater success than her last book. No one needs to know about the actor or the research side of things. Besides, even if they do find out, it will only be a testament to how dedicated she is. It's a win-win."

"You find an actor who will agree, a legal team that can write a contract, and give me your word this won't get out of hand, and I'll approve." Henry unfolded his arms, then draped one over the back of Desi's chair.

"Done!" I clap. "Desi will handle the actor search, I'll finish the outline, and you, darling Henry, will draw up the contract with the legal team and rest assured there's not a scandalous thought to be found. Okay?"

We wait in suspense for a moment, then Henry nods his head. The room erupts into cheers and screaming. Desi and I dance around her desk. Henry cracks a smile.

Finally. I sigh, looking at my notes as I set them down in front of Desi and Henry once more. We instantly get to work.

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Hi lovely friends!

Okay okay okayaayayayayay now we're getting somewhere! I am so excited to get the ball rolling. Hopefully, you are all enjoying this so far. :> 

How about Desi and Henry's dynamic, huh? I have a feeling that these two might be conducting a little "research" of their own later if you catch my drift ;) heehhe

Anyway, have a great day, okay! Don't forget to vote, comment, and share

With love, 

e.g.