a misty gashed aperture ii

so be it

The next morning, The Big Trio met at the church. Ashley slated Roseanne and Irene for their outfits that were more suited for some beach or Halloween party. Roseanne was wearing a tube-style floral maxi dress with a high slit while Irene went for a Gothic Lolita ensemble. Ashley almost did not want to get inside with the two but thought better and made them sit near the front for punishment.

Roseanne argued there was some huge problem with people who went to church if her Sunday dress would be frowned upon. It was not even Sunday and she picked her best one for the occasion. Irene told Ashley that she would curse every time people responded with 'Amen' so everybody would ban her from churches forever. Ashley's comeback was, "Jesus will seek and save those who are lost. All the time, my friend."

Irene, who was seated on Ashley's right, was wild-eyed. "That sounds scarier than Freddy Kreuger. And please, I'm not lost. God and I, we just don't see eye to eye."

Ashley responded with an exasperated sigh and then prompted the two to stand up as the choir sang the opening hymn.

"Is there a part where I can ask the pastor?" Irene continued bugging Ashley while Roseanne snickered on Ashley's other side. "I gotta ask what's been bothering me for a while now and that may be the reason I'm lost."

Ashley gave Irene a bewildered look. "Are you serious? Tell me you're asking a spiritually intelligent question."

"I think so. Why are there more curse words that call god, Jesus, and his folks? Did your god invent that?"

Roseanne snorted, covering her face as she lowered her head.

"Forgive her, oh god," whispered Ashley, staring at the crucifix at the front.

"Relax, Ash, god won't shoot fires at you," muttered Irene. "This dress is made of synthetic fabric by the way. Just in case."

Roseanne kept holding her laughter in. She had to act prim when Ashley shot her a threatening look. "What?"

"Keep your mouth shut," Ashley warned.

"I'm already keeping quiet here and struggling at that. But I can deal with this. I need god on my side anyway."

Irene raised an eyebrow at Roseanne. "God can hear your thoughts loud and clear, Roseanne. You're just scared you'll combust because you're wearing plants." She shook her head disapprovingly. "Nu-uh, highly flammable."

"Girls!" Ashley hissed and then pulled them to sit down during the reading.

"Shoot." Roseanne leaned close to Ashley. "Will god know I'm reminiscing about the makeup sex Lisa and I had last night?"

Irene snorted without even trying to subdue it, causing the people sitting in front of them to turn their heads to give the three of them reprimanding looks.

"My god, Rosie!" Ashley cried out in a hushed tone. "He can totally see you're glowing it's making us feel the very serious drought in our lives."

"Not me," defended Irene nonchalantly.

Roseanne and Ashley turned their heads toward Irene's direction, prompting her to explain. To Irene's amusement, she kept her eyes to the front and smiled sneakily, biting her lips.

"I can't believe you're still sleeping with Wendy. I thought that stops now that Jennie's back?" Ashley murmured.

Irene chuckled. "Obviously, she's not getting any watering from her."

Roseanne smirked. "Or Jennie's not good in bed. But clearly, Wendy's type is somebody close to her height."

"Hey now!" Irene raised her voice, making Ashley jump and bow her head in embarrassment.