𝑫𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒎𝒊𝒏 4

Page 32

I licked my lips before speaking. "You know I visited Stevanna today?"

"Yeah"

"Story fell asleep, so I decided to ask Stevanna about grandkids"

"Ok" he said.

"She told me the grandkids won't even call me grandma. They'll call Eliz..." I paused feeling a lump in my throat. I couldn't speak those terrifying words without crying.

Christopher pulled my head into his embrace as my eyes began to tear up. "James and I won't be the grandparents" I cried. "This is all my fault"

He stayed speechless rubbing the back of my head. "They won't call me grandma" I cried raising my voice. "Eliz got my daughter and my grandkids" I pushed myself off of him sitting up. "Do you hear me!?"

"Yeah I hear you" he said in a calming tone. He wiped my tears with his right thumb. I continued to sob as we maintained eye contact.

"You don't care!?"

"No I care Janet" he sat up bringing his face to mine. "I care just as much as you do but what do you want me to do? You made your bed now you have to lay in it"

"Those kids are going to know who their real grandma is" I said.

"Janet! You can't do that baby, I'm sorry. I know you want to but it's too late. Your already making this documentary ending all of the secret child conspiracies" he paused. "Matter fact if you want to tell the world I won't be mad at you but you have to makeup your mind. Either you take this secret to your grave or tell the world. You gotta pick one"

Stevanna brought the sad truth to my reality. Christopher's harsh words were true but I had to hear it from someone else. So I took sometime to talk to the siblings I always go to advice for.

Randy was visiting mother that Sunday. I showed my face bringing a smile to mothers. Randy and I decided to go for a walk in her gated community.  "What you want to talk about, it's not about Stevanna is it" he said as we began walking.

My mouth fixed itself to say who. "How do you—" Randy cut me off before letting me finish my sentence.

"She spoke to me this morning. I always call her at least once a week to check on her. So I called and she told me she was worried about you because you began to cry at her apartment"

"Yeah, that's what happened. What else did she tell you?" I looked over my shoulder to see his face. He widened his eyes making a dramatic face.

"She told me you guys were talking about... grandchildren" he finished his sentence after pausing.

"Yeah, she already decided Eliz's the grandmother" I spoke through my teeth.

He brought his attention to me burning a whole in my head as we continued down walk the sidewalk. "Janet what do you want her to do? You want the kids to call you grandma and at the same time keep her a secret" he began to scratch his chin.

I looked down at the ground ahead of me as I walked. "What did Christopher say" he questioned.

"He told me I had to pick one. Either I want the world to know or I don't"

"Hey Janet did you ever notice that Joseph is gone" he said in a sarcastic tone. I immediately looked at him frowning my face, asking myself where the hell he was going with this.

He put his right arm around me. "Little sister this means he is no longer here to hold you back. If you want to tell the world what's stopping you"

"It's more than Joseph, Randy. It's our family legacy, plus the whole point of me making that documentary was to end the rumors about my secret daughter"

He shook his head aggressively. "Then Janet let's put it to rest, you already made your decision. Christopher was right" he nudged me.

Rolling my eyes I nudged him back. He gave me a smile looking at my sad face. "There's nothing to smile about right now Randy" I said forcing myself to look away from him. "I just feel like Jospeh's ripping her from my arms all over again. Now Eliz's ripping my grandchildren from me" I spoke forcefully.

"You made your bed now you have to lay in it" he said.

Later that day I called Rebbie desperately hoping she would say something completely different. I held the phone to my ear to only hear the same thing.

"You made your bed now you have to lay in it" she said.

My jaw dropped as I grew the urge to hang up the phone. "Janet? Are you there" she questioned.

"Yeah Rebbie, you know what's funny. Randy said the exact same thing" brining my bottom lip into my teeth I shook my head.

"I know it's hard to hear but it's the truth Janet"

"This is the worst pain ever Rebbie. Every time I think about Stevanna I want to cry"

"How about you think on it. What do you really want?"

"I don't know Rebbie"

"It's not too late to tell the world that's your daughter"

"Your right, I'm gonna think on it"

"Whatever you decide I'm always gonna be on your side. Oh—" I could hear a man's voice in the background. "I gotta go Janet, Austin's calling me, I'll call you later" she said.

"Ok Bye Rebbie" I said hanging up. Looking up from my phone I could see Christopher making direct eye contact with me from across the room.

I sat on the couch with my legs pretzeled putting the phone to my side. "What did Rebbie say" he asked tilting his head.

"Both Rebbie and Randy said the same thing you told me" I said in a smart tone.

"Hey we're only telling you the truth because we love you" he ran to my side. He sat next to me in front of the lit fireplace. "I know it's hard but—"

"I made my bed now I have to lay in it" I said in a smug tone.

"Yes it is and speaking of bed, why aren't you in it?"

"I just wanted to be alone for a second" I said watching the flames dance in his eyes.

He looked at me pulling a curl out of my face. "Are you ready to come upstairs?"

I nodded my head giving him a warm smile. He took my hand before leading me to the bedroom.
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