choice (sdv)

part 6: fucking crazy

STILL SEBBY POV 😭😭

when we'd gotten 'home,' we'd both agreed that she could've gone home if she wanted to, but she didn't.

"hehe, your room is colder, though." she smiled.

"ugh, i cannot stand having a hot room at night, i would literally never get any sleep" i paused. "not like i get much anyway.

she giggled, until she sighed. "hey, sebastian?"

"what's up?" i chimed.

"what- what are we?" she shot me a serious look.

"well." i started. i leaned against the side of the house, trying to think of an answer. "i think that it's better if we stay as friends for now."

that probably wasn't what she was hoping to hear, because she pouted a little. "but.." she trailed off. "but you let me kiss you, did- did that not mean anything?"

i took my unoccupied hand, and tilted her chin up. "look, it meant something to me, of course it did, but i don't want it to mean something to you, i mean, you have a boyfriend, you just got one tonight, and he might seem like an asshole right now, but like i said, you guys have barely been together, at least give him a chance, i brought you along because i thought you were bored, too. if i would've known that we would've done that, even if it was one of the best nights of my life, i think i would've gone alone."

"but-" she sighed. "i get it."

"thank you for that." and once again, despite having shown pity on her boyfriend seconds ago, i gave her a little kiss before sending her back into the house, promising id come back in an little while.

i walked down by the river. the water was still. everything was calm. that's how i wanted it. i needed a moment, just to think.

i heard footsteps. i thought i told you to go inside. we can't be anything as long as you still have a boyfriend. i thought.

"sebastian." an unfamiliar voice said from behind me, i looked over my shoulder.

"shane." my heart stopped for a second, maybe out of fear, but i wasn't very scared of him.

"what don't i have that you do?" he said, monotone.

"i don't know what you're talking about, shane." i intended to play dumb for the rest of this encounter.

"oh don't you fucking play dumb with me" well. there go my plans for the night. "i finally got something good going for me. i meet a girl, and despite my efforts, she didn't leave me to let my life fall farther into shit."

he sat next to me, a few feet away. i cringed, which, i'd found myself doing a lot recently. "so tell me why, when that girl asks me to date her, the very same night, i see her kissing some dude, and going into his house. huh? what's that about."

"listen, it just, it just happened okay? we're not dating or anything. i'm not coming for your girl."  i denied, blankly.

"really? you expect me to believe that?" he squinted.

"not really." i muttered. "but that kiss didn't mean anything."

"maybe not to you. but to her? she's probably thinking about it right now, and when you'll do it again." he argued.

"i doubt it. when we were just talking about it, we agreed that it didn't have to mean anything." i sighed.

"so that wasn't your first time?" he furrowed his eyebrows.

"yeah. second, but-"

"but it doesn't mean anything. yeah i heard you the first eight times you said it." he rolled his eyes. "and since it doesn't mean anything to you, you won't talk to her again, right?"

"wrong, she's still cool to me, im not gonna be a dick to her for no reason." i blinked.

"oh is that so? because last time i checked, you were a dick to everyone for no reason. why is she different?"

"whatever, asshole, just leave me alone. even if i was fucking in love with her, and kissing her meant the world to me, i'm not going to blow her off just cause her douchebag boyfriend told me to."

he just smiled. "yeah, you will. because you know how easy it is for me to be super good to her, get her super close to me, and flee the fucking city? you'll never see her again. blow her off, and you still get to see her, i guess. don't, and you'll never know what's going on with her. people told me i'd be abusive when i got a girlfriend, and as well as i say that i never would, in zuzu city, nobody fucking cares what you're doing, nobody even knows, including you, sebastian."

my eyes were wide "you're batshit." i stuttered, was i nervous? "she wouldn't, either. she left zuzu city because she hated it. she wouldn't go back."

"you wanna bet?" he smirked. all i could do was stare. this guy is fucking crazy. "better not take your chances, bassie." and with that, he got up, and walked away.

i don't know how to react. i've gotta tell y/n, right? she'd believe me. after i could see that he'd left, i left, too.

__—+*+—__

"sebastian" y/n smiled when i walked through the door. do i ignore her? i feel like an ass. i smiled a little back.

"hey, are you okay? you look stressed." she furrowed her eyebrows.

i wrapped my arms around her slowly, which she was quick to copy. "sebastian, what is going on?" she sighed, concerned, tightly hugging me.

"it's your boyfriend. he saw us when we got back, safe to say, i don't think he's happy about it." i admitted, she leaned into me.

"wait, what? did he talk to you?" she asked.

"uhh.. yeah." i murmured. she pulled her head from behind me.

"what aren't you telling me?" she begged. i looked at her, despite it being dark in my room, and i thought for a second.

god, y/n, what aren't i telling you?

i'm not telling you anything, really.

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little cliffhanger?

i'm listening to modest mouse while writing this and 🤭🤭

STREAM BUKOWSKI OMG

im loving writing this story tbh, i don't have much to say for an end message, so yea.

hi everybody

anyways that's it, ily.

1016 words w/o end
1062 with

-GOOSE‼️