Little Journeys

Little words (chapter 10)

"A massive beach party and all the cool people will be there" I over hear my brother say to Ivy in the kitchen. A mention of a party stops me in my tracks. "And don't worry my sister and her friends won't be anywhere near this party." 

I snort at the mention of me. The memory of the last party comes to mind of Ivy covered in my friends' stomach contents. Little did Luke know that he gave me the exact details of the party and that we of course would be there. I smirk at the sight of his face when he spots me through the crowd. I shake my head chuckling as I make my way outside, Jess was back home for the weekend and I knew the mention of a party would peak her interest. I knock on the door waiting for an answer, the door suddenly slams open almost knocking me out.

"Oh my god! Sam!" She screams as if it's been years rather than a month since we last saw each other. She wraps her arms around me.

"Nice to see you too" I laugh embracing her back. "But first on the agenda how would you like to crash a beach party that we're not invited to."

"Of course! College parties are fun but we have the best beach parties."

"Well we're going to one..tonight" I grin. "Just please promise me, no tequilas"

"Scouts honour" she laughs.

........

"A may have heard from someone who heard from someone who heard from someone else that Luke and Ivy might be here tonight. That wouldn't be the reason why we're here?" Jess asks as we walk hand in hand down the beach.

I nudge her slightly. "I mean no, yes, maybe. Besides what's a party without a little drama." I grin.

We finally approach the party, the music was loud and there was a huge bonfire lit. It was a warm evening so people were dressed in only swimwear and the drinks were flowing. It looked pretty impressive. I guessed it was one of the rich college students who had returned to their beach house for the summer, I recognised very few people there but nobody took any notice of Jess and I as we made our way to the drinks. 

After downing several questionable drink choices I make my way to the toilet, the house had about 3 bathrooms so I just chose the one with the smallest queue. I look back at the queue which was lengthening and spot Ivy near the back, she looked like she was about to pass out.

"Ivy!" I shouted out so I wouldn't lose my place in the queue. I finally get her attention as she looks up. "Come here!" She nervously walks passed the dishevelled queue, nobody seemed to care. She doesn't say anything. The door opens as I go in Ivy runs passed me. Unsure of protocol I shut the door and lock it. 

"You really don't need to see me like this" she complains.

"Well you came in with me" I chuckle. I wasn't going to leave her whatever she said to me, I thought she looked beautiful even if she did look pretty worse for wear.

"You'll be fine Ivy" I reassure her. I put my hand on her back gently rubbing it, it always made me feel better when mom did it. After a few moments she stood up. "Lets get you some water and fresh air." I hold her hand and get her to follow me outside. 

It felt strange looking after Ivy. I recall a memory of when Ivy and Luke would take me down to the beach to make sandcastles as we sit on the cool sand away from the party and noise. It felt calm. It had been a while but Ivy seemed to be looking noticeably better. She links her arm in mine and pulls me in closer as a cool evening wind passes through us.

I don't know why I did, maybe I felt awkward but as always words vomited out of my mouth. "So you and Luke?" I ask with a humorous tinge in my voice although I had wanted to know her answer whether it be bad or good.

"Me and Luke nothing!" She replies a little too abruptly.

"But you two would have made the stereotypical all American high school sweethearts. Your black hair and his blonde hair compliments each other" I lie.

"So what you're saying is that boyfriends are accessories?" She asks.

"Exactly" I laugh.

"And how about you little one?" She chuckles.

"You know I'm not that much younger than you" pushing her arm away from me. "Boyfriends are overrated."

She goes quiet processing the conversation looking at me confused, I look away. I hadn't even thought that Ivy wouldn't have known, I just assumed Luke would have told her or she would have found out on social media, it wasn't a secret.

"Luke never told you did he?"

"She shakes her head looking even more confused. "Told me what?"

I look away and then back into her eyes. "I don't like boys."

"Oh."

It wasn't a shocked 'oh' or disgusted 'oh', just 'oh'. Suddenly we're back into a silence that turned increasingly uncomfortable. Maybe it was a disgusted 'oh' and she wouldn't want to be near me, most people were liberal here but maybe Ivy wasn't, I didn't even think of that. I grew up with Ivy did I not notice that she was homophobic in any way? I'm stupid. Stupid Sam as always and I couldn't just escape to college like Jess could after tonight. Suddenly I feel her lips on mine for the briefest moment. I was hallucinating now. But if I was hallucinating I should probably make the most of the moment as I move closer kissing her back. She moves back. I think she was as confused as I was.

"I, I, just wanted to see what it was like" she stutters.

"I'm not complaining" I grin like an idiot. "Just a bit unexpected.

She gets up quickly. "I should get going."

And with that she walks away from everything that I had never imagined would ever happen as if it never had.