Somnolent Strike

Moving in

"... What in the world are you doing here?" I tried to slam the door in Issa's face but she put her foot between the door and me.

"I've scoured the entire neighborhood, so don't you dare turn me down! I didn't even know your full name but I described you and described you and eventually an lady in the park was feeding these cats and she heard me describing you to someone and called me over."

I swore under my breath.

"It must have been Mrs Liria, that nosy old hooker!"

"Hey! That's so mean. She helped me find you."

Mrs Liria really had worked as a hooker once upon a time but I decided to shut up about that.

"Well she wasted her time. I don't want to see you." I tried to shut the door again but she was stronger and wrenched it open.

"Let me in!" She walked in, dragging Winnie behind her.

I sighed, knowing I couldn't give them anything more than a caramelized apple and maybe some hard marble cake.

"You need to get out. This is for your own good... I'll call the police" I bluffed.

Issa chuckled and shook her head.

"You're full of shit. I'll tell the police you kidnapped us for two weeks and force fed me and Winnie." She sat Winnie on my beanbag in the living room and made herself at home on a rickety chair.

"Well... would you like a Fizzy?"

"No thanks. If the food you gave me in Kansas is anything to go by you only have poison in your house." She swayed in the chair, barely balancing. 

I sat in the chair across and we just stared at each other for a bit.

"I suppose you'd want to sleep here tonight. I'll make your bed." I offered.

She didn't protest so I got up to make it.

Then we spend the rest of the evening watching TV and playing video games (our favorite was The Legend of Zelda).

Then Issa commandeered me to go to grocery shopping as she didn't like any of the food in my house. I followed, bewildered, as she bought the whole shop with my credit card.

2 push-up sherbet pops for Winnie

1 Minute Maid juice bar in the grape flavour

3 creative soup cans with weird fun-shaped noodles and flavors drawn on the outside, like Spiderman, Pikachu, and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles that I wouldn't be seen dead buying. I hoped my friends from work wouldn't see me

4 square pizzas with every single topping, even pineapple

3 portions of frozen garlic bread

2 large Cokes and malt

2 big cartons of rainbow ice cream, peppermint, dulce de leche, dark chocolate, strawberry, maple walnut, moose tracks, french vanilla, spumoni, hokey pokey, and moon mist (blended grape, banana, and blue raspberry)

Finally it was time for bed. I was all prepared to put both of them on the couch or the mattress I'd made up, but Issa insisted to come into my bedroom with me (after we'd put Winnie on the couch) for night clothes even though she'd bought new clothes for herself too and a suspiciously large amount of special pink razors.

"Your clothes are in their bags still." I reminded her.

"Oh I know. We're going to be making room for them in your wardrobe."

And that's when I decided I would have to find her somewhere else to live.