River (Book 1) A Warriors Fanfiction

Chapter 20

•Brackenstar•

Brackenstar padded away from his brother's Clan with a heavy heart. He already missed his companions terribly. He limped  forward until he reached the lake. Welp, here goes. He tossed himself into the lake, and snorted as he thought of Sunpaw and his foolishness only a couple days before. I really hope Riverstorm can rid the Clans of Cranestar. He sighed and tried to resist his need for air. He kept pushing down. Soon, he blacked out and woke up in StarClan. Ashflower was waiting for him.
     "Was it successful? Did you find them?" She asked, kindly but slightly impatiently. Brackenstar nodded, gasping for air.
     "Yes. It was hard leaving, though. I'm going to miss them all so much." He broke off, unable to say anymore. He wasn't sure what to say if he was going to say anything else. He sighed, and finally continued with, "I guess Shellshine's ceremony will be soon. The sun has already set since I was there. Ashflower snorted.
"You think she can walk that fast? Stupid furball!" She purred and nudged him affectionately. Then she grew serious. "Brack, I-I wanted to apologize for all those moons ago." He looked back at her, a little confused.
"Why...?" He asked tentatively. She leaned in.
"I-I should have seen the danger in Darkmist. I...He...I-Well honestly, Brackenstar, I think Beepaw is your son. Think, he looks nothing like me—pale gray with blue eyes—or Darkmist—dark with pale amber eyes. Brackenstar, he's the spitting image of you. I know, we...we wanted kits...and well..." She trailed off, blushing. Brackenstar looked away, pelt hot. He was remembering that night moons ago, and he suspected she was too. They had wanted kits together so badly, but they thought that would never happen. Then Darkmist came to the Clan and Ashflower instantly fell for him. They became mates and had kits, and all but Beepaw had died before even taking their first breath. Ashflower, too, had died.
     "Whatever happened to the other three kits?" Brackenstar asked softly. "Are they here with you, in StarClan? Did you ever name them?" Ashflower nodded and turned back to him.
     "Yes, they are here with me, and well...yes, they have names, but..." Ashflower looked away. Brackenstar brushed his tail across her ear and rested his chin on the top of her head.
"What? You can tell me anything. You know that." He touched his nose to hers. "What is it?"
"I-er-well...I don't know." She paused before burying her face into his chest. "Oh, Brack, those kits were never supposed to happen. Darkmist...I thought he was so handsome, and I fell for him, before I saw the real him. By then, he wanted to have kits with me, but I-I...I..." She stopped, tears leaving wet tracks down her pale gray face. "Brack, I tried to tell him I-I couldn't have kits, didn't want them, but-but he wouldn't listen. He said that if StarClan wanted us to have kits, then-then I would. Oh, Brack, I was so scared. I tried to tell him no, but he insisted. He-he forced StarClan's will on me, and..." Ashflower stopped again, now sobbing. Brackenstar cuddled her close.
"It's okay, now. Ashflower, you had kits. It was a miracle! You were never supposed to have them! Remember the Clan was so happy for you-and-and me? Remember they thought the kits were mine? We were so happy, despite knowing they were that treacherous rat's. Don't you remember that joy?
"And remember when you gave birth. I was right beside you the entire time, we were so excited. We were young and in love, so happy, so oblivious to the world around us. Don't you remember, Ash?" Ashflower smiled a little bit, and Brackenstar simply sat there, holding her. After what seemed like hours, she finally replied with a small, whispered, "I remember. I remember it all, Brackenstar. I—no, we—were so happy." She purred a sad, broken purr, but Brackenstar filled in the lonely little gaps for her with his own purr.
"We were so happy." He repeated. Then he looked at her. "What are the other three's names? What do they look like?" He asked softly. She purred a little harder now.
"Beetlekit, Waspkit, and Flykit. The latter two are gray-and-white, while Beetlekit is dark, like...like that horrid rat. All boys, just as lively as Beepaw. Waspkit is a little shyer than his brothers, but he'll join in their games, and he learns quickly. If he was...alive, he would make a fine warrior. They all would." She broke off yet again, her sentences crumbling away as she built the stories in her mind again. Brackenstar knew only one thing would help her right now, and that was going to see the kits. He beckoned her away from the ground.
"Where do the kits usually like to play?" He asked. She pointed with her tail rather numbly to a bush several tail-lengths away. Brackenstar herded to the bush, and sure enough, he saw flashes of gray, white, and dark brown as the three brothers scuffled. Brackenstar cleared his throat. They stopped and looked up.
"Kits, this is Brackenstar, the late leader of SkyClan, where we would have lived, if you had lived, those nine moons ago. Brackenstar...is your father." Brackenstar could tell Ashflower was struggling to appear composed. She forcefully purred when Flykit nuzzled her. Brackenstar barely remembered to not shudder as he looked Beetlekit in the eye. Darkmist's son was the spitting image of his father, just as Beepaw was, Brackenstar. The small, dark kit bared his teeth at Brackenstar and lunged at him. Suddenly he seemed to turn into Darkmist, and Brackenstar felt helpless, just like the night his arch-nemesis had almost killed him. Brackenstar blinked and shook his head. When he looked at Beetlekit again, the kit was simply sitting there, staring at Brackenstar as though he had sprouted a tail out of the top of his head. Brackenstar tried to smile, attempting to reassure the small kit that he wasn't crazy, but the small, orange tom couldn't shake away the image of Darkmist snarling at him.
     For the rest of the day, Brackenstar couldn't look Beetlekit in the eye again. He jumped at every little noise, and when Ashflower flicked him on the shoulder with her tail, asking if he was okay, he leapt up and hissed. She flinched and pulled away. He hurriedly pressed close to her. "I'm sorry, Ashflower, but-" He leaned in. "-it's Beetlekit. I can't-I mean I...Ashflower, every time I look at him, I get flashbacks to a quarter moon ago, when he—I mean Darkmist—almost killed me. Sooner or later, the poor kit will realize I'm not his father, and wonder why everyone stares at him, like he's the maniac his father turned out to be. Ashflower, I can't help seeing his father when I look at him, but I know he's innocent. There must be some way to save him from this. I'm sorry." His voice broke and became hoarse, as tears welled up in his eyes. "I'm so sorry. So, so sorry."
     "I know, Brackenstar. It happens to me, too. I love him, but he...I...Darkmist...well, Brack, I think that he is my punishment for falling for Darkmist's trap. I thought he was so handsome, so kind, so caring...I was so naive. I'm sorry, Brackenstar. You were the faithful one, you never stopped loving me, you were there through it all, you...you were—are—everything I've ever needed. I know you have a mate, but Brackenstar, I wish...I wish that we could start over. I wish those kits were all yours, and I-I wish that Beetlekit didn't look anything like Darkmist." She pressed against him. All three kits stopped and looked at them.
     "I wish that, too, Ashflower, except for the last thing. They are the way they are meant to be, and I would never change that, despite...despite..." Brackenstar was aware that the kits were listening. "...despite the circumstances. I do love Dawnmist, but...like you said, I never stopped loving you." The kits were still listening wide-eyed.
     "What are you talking about?" The boldest of the three was, of course, Beetlekit. "Are you talking about us behind our backs?" He narrowed his eyes the exact same way Darkmist did. Only pale slits were visible, and Brackenstar was transported, yet again, to that night a quarter moon ago. He shook his head and stared back at the small kit. He didn't answer his question.
     "Let's a-hope Darkmist's son don't follow in his pawsteps, aye?" A new voice reached Brackenstar's ears. "Ya fear him, and for his future, don't ya?" A white tom stood, facing Brackenstar. He dipped his head to the orange tom. "Don't be scared o' his offspring, now. He can't do not'in', now can 'e? Not now, but later. Worry later, now, good, sir. Enjoy ya time now, Brackenstar."