it's me [muke af]

close as strangers//5 seconds of summer

close as strangers//5 seconds of summer

Michael is talking and Luke can't hear him. He can hear a buzz flowing through the room and in and out of his ears but he hears nothing else. A pounding headache is filling up his brain and he thinks he is about to die. 

Maybe not, but it really hurts. And, Luke knows he deserves it. 

Luke knows he deserves it because there's a fresh set of hickeys on his torso and it's not from his partner of almost two decades.

He looks down at his dry fingertips and he knows the last person they touched were not Michael. He feels as if he is on fire as he looks at his family with sad, blue eyes. He has left them far behind, he has disappointed them. 

Mike says Luke's name, but the blonde boy fails to hear it. 

Luke figured they're going to find out any day soon. Someone is going to read his messages or watch him sneak out. They're gonna surprise him at work and find him on the couch moaning another man's name. 

His kids will hate him, they're going to hate him so much. They won't talk to him anymore, they won't even look at him. They can't imagine their father in their head without vomit filling their mouths. They'll feel unloved because Luke couldn't just stick around for a family whom loves him all too much. 

He'll become that disowned relative, no one willing to even mention his name. He's the disgrace of the entire Hemmings-Clifford family, they will all tell their kids about the monster he became. How he wasn't able to handle the pressure of not being normal. 

The media will be over him, he can imagine the papers and magazines now, filled with an unattractive candid of the almost-middle-aged blonde. 'Successful Record Company Owner's Love Affair' would be on every magazine. All the artists he signed will stop talking to him, they'll be ashamed to have him as a coach. Their parents will tell them to stay away from that Hemmings man. He left his family when they needed him most. 

Michael called Luke's name again, this time elbowing him. Mike didn't understand why he's been so distant. He has his suspicions, well Ashton has his suspicions. The younger boy's eyes were hazy as he focused on nothing in particular. Luke looked up, finally. All of their matching eyes were on him. "Hm?" He asked in a hum. 

"Are you alright?" Michael asked. He turned his body so it was facing the distressed boy.

"Yeah," he answered, "Of course."

Michael placed his hand on Luke's knee, his thumb soothingly rubbing over the material of his skinny jeans. "Anyways, what I was saying was—."

Luke zoned out again, he was so fucked. He felt anything but placid, he was a mess. He looked at his family and they were only close as strangers. 

(a/n) this book is almost over, but you've got a shit big storm coming.