seven souls seven sins

chapter 1: finished history

Oh how I adore late January weather, it's always so calm and crisp here in London. Although in summer I can show off my body, I prefer the cooler months. It gives me a sense of peacefulness. I reach for my phone on my desk and begin to read today's schedule: School, Gym, Work, Sleep.

I gently place my phone into my pocket while walking to the kitchen.

There I see my mother, oh how I loved and hated her all at the same time. After the divorce she was nothing but stone cold to me, and still is. She only exists to feed me and give me a home. I'm honestly surprised she hasn't given me up for adoption yet. Let's just say i'm not the perfect child to have around. I never was and never will be.

"Morning Mum" I greet her, hoping to begin a conversation. I desperately wanted to talk to her after what happened yesterday, hopefully she would recite an apology. But deep down even I would know it wouldn't happen.

She just nods her head at me and continues to prepare herself breakfast. Nobody understands how hard it is to live with a woman like her. She's emotionless, sometimes she reminds me of a walking corpse. Her routine consists of waking up hungover, eating, drinking, sleeping and repeat. Without my so called job then we would be on the streets. God sometimes I feel like 'Maybe I don't deserve a mother?'. She probably hates me anyways. I'm nothing but a burden towards her. I was always a burden now that I think about it.

I let out a sigh hoping she heard me as I make my way towards the door and quickly walk out. I quickly whip out my phone while walking down the fleet of concrete stairs. I begin texting my best friend Seb on Snapchat.

Nat: morning loser! you coming or what?

Seb: you know it! There's some traffic, I'll be there in 5.

Nat: Nah it's alright, take your time. I needed time to think anyways.

Seb: You know that you're highly impatient? ;)

Nat: How else is everything meant to be completed then? You're going to do it huh? :)

Seb: Hard pass but touché m'lady. I see you, hop in.

My gaze is now fixed on Seb's car. The black SUV shines brightly with all the sunlight. I jump into his heated car seats as he starts the engine. "What happened yesterday? You didn't call me back" Seb stated.

"I came home and went to bed, simple. I must have forgotten sorry." I muttered, continuously looking at my fingers.

Seb gave me a glare and said "Look at me when you speak Tash." He spoke with such authority. He only does this voice when talking about serious topics. Oh golly I was in for a treat.

I drifted my eyes till I met his. He had dark brown eyes. They glistened in the sunlight, turning into a shade of amber. I knew I couldn't lie to him. Not with him. He would be able to tell even if I tried, so there wasn't any point. He knew me too darn well.

I let out a sigh and reveal my shoulder. I hoped his reaction wouldn't be dramatic. Hopefully the awkwardness would die down a bit. There was already too much tension in the air between us.

He examines my shoulder and caresses my cheek. I loved his touch on my skin. It made me feel whole.

"Did she do this?" he suggested with a hint of anger contained in his eyes. He was looking for an answer but I stayed quiet giving him my response. I couldn't let out a verbal response even if I tried. I knew that if I did that tears would come pouring out.

"She did." I gulped.

I remember yesterday so vividly. It wasn't out of the ordinary behaviour but I don't even know why that I still held out hope that she would stop. I knew this wasn't her. I wanted the old her back. The version where she wasn't drunk 24/7. The version where she cared for me and loved me. The version where she was a proper mother.