"Since you don't know how to shut your fucking mouth, I'll fill it with my cum to shut you up," Kol seethes, looking down at me like I was dirt on his shoe.
I loved the way it made me feel. The way he made me feel. He looked at me like I was a whor...
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"You want to talk to me about my brother? My brother's heart that you broke. My brother who told you that he loved you and you ran off for a year and left him brokenhearted. He was in bed for months. He couldn't get up. He didn't even talk to any of us and all because of you. So, Maya, I do not want to meet and talk."
I texted Kol to meet up. I feel guilty. Oh my God. Oh my God. I can't believe it....
I did that. I know I broke his heart, but Jesus. I'm heartless.
How could I do that to him? What kind of monster would do that to someone who loved them?
"Hey, sweetheart." Kol leans down and pecks me on the lips.
Kol slides into the seat across from me. "So is this the mega date you had planned?" he teases.
I look down at my hands. My leg bounces up and down at a ferocious pace.
"Maya, are you okay? You're a little qui--"
"How hard did I break your heart, Kol?" I quip, getting straight to the point.
His face drops and his shoulders tense. "I thought we were past this, Maya."
"Are we? We talked about it for a little bit and then I asked you on a date. That doesn't seem like a healthy conversation to me," I say.
"Maya, we communicated. We realized the error of our ways and moved on. We're better now. We're together now, Maya. A-Aren't we?" he asks.
I reach for his hand and interlock our fingers. "Of course we are, Kol. But...what happened when I left? All we did was focus on me. What about you?"
"Why are you bringing this up now, Maya? We're good. We've moved on."
"But have you? Truly? What were you like while we were separated?"
Kol looks away. "I don't want to talk about this."
"I called your sister," I say. "And she told me some things."
Kol's eyes dart over to me and his jaw clenches. "What things?"
I look down. I let out a deep breath. "Uh...when you told me you loved me and I ran off...she told me how you were."
Kol's eyes sharpened.
"Kol, she told me you didn't talk to any of your family for months. You couldn't get out of bed. Because of me. And you still ran back to me like it was nothing. I'm a monster."
"Maya, you're not a monster. It's not your fault I fell in love with you," he offers.
"But, it's my fault you suffered. It's my fault that your family suffered. It's all my fault."
I feel like breaking down, but I can't. I can't make this about me. I've already made enough about me.
Kol retracts his hand. "She shouldn't have told you that."
I search his eyes, but he won't look at me. "T-That's all you have to say? K-Kol....just tell me. Talk to me. We're together now."
Kol looks down. "That state of myself is something I never want you to see."
"Well, Kol, I'm not going anywhere, so eventually I'm going to have to see that side of you. I'm going to have to see every side of you even if you don't want me to. That's what people in relationships do. Just talk to me, please," I plead.
Kol finally looks up at me. "Maya, you know I love you. But...I don't want you to see that side of me. It was fucking depressing. And I don't ever want to go through that again. And out of all the people I care about, I never want you to see that."
I look down. "I'm so, so sorry I did that to you. You never deserved that. You deserve better."
"And you became better. Maya, no matter what you do or what you think of yourself, I will always love you. And you love me. So, let's just forget about everything else. Nothing else matters now," he reassures me.
"I just...I want you to know that I will never hurt you like that again," I promise.
Kol takes my hand again and places a kiss on it. "I know that, Maya. But loving someone is willing to take the risks that come with loving them."
I smile. "When did you become so wise beyond your years, Koly boy?"
He rolls his eyes. "Still jealous, sweetheart?"
I quirk an eyebrow at him. "Should I be?"
"You have no reason to be. I could never have eyes for anybody but you."
"Yeah, I guess you're alright too.." My phone ringing interrupts my phone call.
I slide it up without looking at the contact name. I hear sniffling on the other line.
