"Since you don't know how to shut your fucking mouth, I'll fill it with my cum to shut you up," Kol seethes, looking down at me like I was dirt on his shoe.
I loved the way it made me feel. The way he made me feel. He looked at me like I was a whor...
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Today marks officially 11 months. 11 months since I've talked to him. Since I've seen him.
The last time I thought about him was yesterday when I tried to get another orgasm. But, it was a waste of time. I haven't orgasmed since him.
I don't know what's wrong with me. I don't know why I missed him. I avoided him like the fucking plague for the rest of the school year.
During the summer, I busted my ass to rent an apartment with Angela. She and Leo were still going strong. It disgusted me.
She eventually got over Leo's parents not liking her. Seeing them always reminded me of him. It reminded me of what I could've had with him.
You were fucking unlovable.
Jeremiah didn't give a shit about me and yet his words were bleached into my brain like a permanent tattoo that I did not fucking want.
He tried to get in contact with me. He chased me downstairs the day I left his apartment. He showed up at my dorm daily for a month before giving up. He would call, text, and even fucking email.
I couldn't stand it because these 11 months apart had confirmed what I was shit-scared of. I have feelings for Kol.
I didn't want to. You were fucking unlovable.
The door opens and Angela walks inside. "Your Mom's here, Maya."
My Mother has been better. Ever since that moment after my brother, she's been really trying. We have lunch every Sunday and she comes over sometimes. She's not as overbearing, but after all, she's still Aureila St. Martin.
"Maya, you look thin, have you eaten? Should I order something? Your favorite restaurant, Sambrino's?" she asks.
Sambrino's. It was his favorite too. Can't eat there. "No, Mom, I'm fine. I just had some pretzels."
I see her mouth twitch in almost a smile at Mom. I noticed that she likes that. It makes her happy when I call her Mom.
She senses something is up with me. After prying and trying for the first couple of months, she stopped asking. Maybe she was waiting until I was ready to tell her. Maybe she already knew.
"I just came to grab my bag, Maya. I'm spending the weekend at Leo's," Angela says and then heads to her room.
My Mom sits down next to me and looks at me skeptically. After a few moments of silents, she lets out an exasperated sigh. "Maya, I can't take it anymore. It's been almost a year since you've been this way. What happened? Why won't you tell me?"
