"Since you don't know how to shut your fucking mouth, I'll fill it with my cum to shut you up," Kol seethes, looking down at me like I was dirt on his shoe.
I loved the way it made me feel. The way he made me feel. He looked at me like I was a whor...
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Maya, look at me. You are loved by many. You are far from unlovable, my girl. You are strong, courageous, and confident. I love you. Your father loved you. Your brother loved you enough to come and save you from me. That girl Angela loves you and Kol loves you. Unlovable is something that you will never ever be.
You're worth it, Maya.
Those words were exactly what I needed to pull me out of the grovel I'd been stuck in for a year.
I never thought I would've seen the day that my Mother of people would be the one to help me. I need to talk to Kol the minute I land in California.
I can't wait to...oh shit.
My date with Joseph. I kind of felt guilty knowing I had no romantic feelings for him, and I'm leading him on.
I do that a lot. I really need to work on that. Apologize to the people I hurt.
I stay for the rest of the week, and I fly back to California that Saturday. I put my stuff back at the apartment and I walk to the dorms.
Maybe he's still there. Maybe not?
I knock on the door and wait a few seconds. I think about leaving after the wait time, but then the door soon opens.
"Hey, Gavin...." I say, quietly. His face is taken aback in surprise but is quickly replaced with naturalness.
"Maya. It's been a while. How have you been?" he says, casually.
Okay. So, he's not mad. Great.
"Do you mind if I come inside? So we could talk?"
"I have a girlfriend now who I'm in love with and serious about, so if you don't mean actual talking then no," he says.
My lips thin. "Uh...I'm in love too. So, I do really just want to talk."
He nods and lets me into his dorm. "Is it with that blonde guy? Who punched the shit out of me?"
I laugh at the amusement on his face, but then my smile falls flat. "I was kind of a jerk back then."
He shrugs. "You told me that we wouldn't be in a relationship, and I still pursued you. Yeah, the sex gave me a little hope, but I should've known."
I sigh. "I still want to apologize. I know it's over a year late, but I need to do this and you deserve it. I'm glad you found a girl who was able to give you what I couldn't."
He smiles at me. "And this guy? Is he making you happy?"
I look away. "He was...but in Maya St. Martin fashion, I screwed everything up."
"Well, have you tried to fix it?"
"I will try to fix it. No matter how long it takes."
After an hour of talking to Gavin, I text Joseph to meet up at a coffee shop.
"You know when for our date, I imagined taking you to a restaurant or something, not a cheap coffee shop," he jokes, and when I don't laugh, his smile falls flat.
"What's wrong? You're not going to defend coffee? Are you okay?" he asks and reaches for my hand.
I pull back, and I see his face flash in embarrassment.
"There's something I need to talk to you about." He sits up straight as he realizes that I'm in a serious mood.
"When we first met and started hooking up, you asked me out and I said that I didn't want anything to tie me back to Arizona. That wasn't the truth. I was scared and I was a pussy. I didn't want to be hurt again, so I refused to get into another relationship. But, then I met someone."
I see Joseph's face physically fall at the mention of me meeting somebody else. "He was smart and beautiful. He was understanding and he actually wanted to get to know me. The real me."
"I wanted to get to know you too," Joseph butts in.
"That was after the sexual things we did, Joseph. When I first met you, you were this quiet, hot loner who didn't like anyone. But, when you figured out what my mouth and hands could do, all of a sudden you wanted me. That's not the case with Kol. He liked me for me. He wanted me before anything," I seethe.
Joseph is taken aback. He exhales a deep breath and gets up from his seat. "I understand."
I grab his arm when he turns around. He takes it back, aggressively. "There's no need to sugarcoat anything, Maya. You like somebody else. End of story."
He walks out of the coffee shop and leaves me there alone, completely stunned. I sit there alone for a few minutes, thinking about my actions. I was a bad person playing with people's emotions.
I bet Kol hates me now. I ghosted him for over a year because of his emotions. I can't possibly expect him to still be pining for me after all this time.
You're worth it, Maya.
But remembering my Mother's words...they gave me a strange feeling of hope.
"Hey, what are you doing here?" Angela says as she and Leo sit down on at my table.
I look up and smile. "I just broke things off with Joseph."
"See. I told you, you did not owe him anything. Yeah, he'll be a bit butt hurt, but he'll get over it. Now, all you have to do is go get your man. Then we can go on cute double dates," Angela smiles and I laugh.
Leo's phone rings and when he sees the caller ID, his expression becomes agitated. "Leo, your phone has been ringing non-stop. Just go and speak to your Dad," Angela says.
He looks at her, kisses her forehead, and then heads outside to take his call. "What's all that about?" I ask.
She shrugs and a frown forms on her face. "His Dad has been bugging him about something and he won't tell me what it's about. He says he doesn't want to worry me, but he worries me when he's stressed like this."
I give her a knowing nod. We talk for the next 10 minutes before Leo comes back inside. "Angel, I have to go and see my parents for a few days. I have to go home and pack. I love you."
They share a kiss before he runs out of the cafe again. "See," she points behind her. "Stress."
We laugh and then her face becomes solemn. "Are you ready?" she asks. "To finally see Kol after all this time."
My face drops and I suck in a breath. I shrug my shoulders. "As ready as I'll ever be. He either feels the same way or he's moved on. There's no in between."
Angela reaches out and squeezes my hand. "I have a feeling everything is going to be alright."
