A Life to be Loved

~Chapter 38~

!TW! - MENTION OF SUICIDE - !TW!

-UNKNOWN-

I glared at the place next to me in bed. That stupid brat had to ruin everything. She couldn't handle not having one thing in her life. I had absolutely no one. I had wanted one thing, and couldn't even have that. Sure, my methods for getting it weren't that great, but desperate times call for desperate measures. That spoiled bitch had everything. What do I have? A goddamn cat?

I walked to my owl, scribbling a few words onto a piece of paper, before sending to off. A moment later, it came back, a new letter gripped in its talons. 

I'll be there soon. 

I read the words quickly, before pulling my hair out of its bun and re-doing my makeup. 

In a few minutes, someone knocked on my door. I opened it, revealing a tall, brown-haired man. He locked our lips instantly, walking me back to my bed, and throwing me onto it. 

By the end of the night, my voice was sore from the screeches I had released. My legs were shaking as I laid in the bed by myself, the man gone. He never stayed after he fucked me, even after I begged him with the promise of morning sex. He just left. I don't even remember his face, since all we've ever done is fuck. I couldn't look for him if I tried. He always seemed to be near whenever I called him. 

-LILITH-

I woke up to a dorm that looked completely different from mine. It was cold, with bare walls and shelves full of boring school books, while my dorm was covered in pictures and paintings, with shelves stuffed with trinkets and novels. I noticed that another person was seated at the desk of the dorm. My heart leaped when I recognized the curly head of hair. 

"Mattheo?" I murmured. "Why are I here?" 

He turned, seeming surprised that I was awake. "You forgot your keys." He explained shortly, before turning back to his desk. 

I shrugged, before trying to go back to sleep. I couldn't drift off, probably because I was combing through my memories, trying to remember what had happened last night. My legs were sturdy, meaning we didn't fuck. I sighed, standing up from the bed, preparing to leave the dorm. 

"Bye Mattheo." I whispered more to myself than to him, knowing that he didn't give a shit. He didn't even acknowledge me, making my heart shatter again. I hid my face from him, trying to blink my tears away. 

-MATTHEO-

I kept my head to the desk, not wanting to look at Lilith. She obviously didn't want anything to do with me, so why should I? 

I heard her mumble 'bye', but I continued ignoring her. I heard her sniffle, but I kept my head lowered, hearing the door close. I got up from the chair, running a hand through my hair as I paced. Maybe she wasn't mad at me anymore. But I wouldn't come crawling back to her. She made this problem, and she had to fix it. I won't lift a finger to help her in the future. If she really doesn't want anything to do with me, I won't make her. I'd never make her do anything if I had a choice. 

An owl flocked to my window, and I opened it quickly. It was from my father, saying that my mission had to be accomplished by the end of the night. 

Shrugging, I pulled on my cloak and grabbed my wand, before apparating to a rock that stood over a village in the middle of the country-side. People were running around, busy with their chores. I might be missing my classes, but non of the teachers would dare to expel me, since my father is the Dark Lord. Sometimes it's nice to be able to do whatever I want. But other times, it's tiring to have to go out late every night to torture someone, or tear down a village, or just have a meeting. 

I waved my wand, sending flames down on the village. One of my father's connections disobeyed him, so I was burning the village that his family lives in. You know, usual Monday things. 

The screams of the people were lost in the countryside, meaning that no one could save them, not even the rain could come in time to help them. I could see wizards and witches protecting their family with magic, but my flames were too powerful for the average wizard. Children cried, adults screamed, and fire burned on. I felt powerful, watching a village be torn to shreds by my own magic. The feeling I felt was the only thing that stopped me from completely defying my father. That, and the fact that he would kill me if I stopped completing my missions. He always threatened me with being replaced. Non of the Death-eaters wished to be replaced, and I was no different. 

"Kill me." I whispered into the wind. "Kill me before I kill myself." 

I have never wanted to jump into the village before. I had never wanted to feel the flames kissing my skin, devouring my body. I had never wanted to turn my own wand on me, before uttering the words that could kill me. I had never wanted one villager to survive, only to grab my wand and kill me. I had never wanted to die.

But there's a first time for everything. 

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Hey! I'm really sorry for not updating in over a month, but I've had so many quizzes and so much homework that it's really hard to find time to type. I really thought that I would be updating more often, but that never happened. Please don't be mad.

Love you all, and thank you if you're still reading this after I didn't update.

xxx

This chapter has not been proof read.