Ace Of The Heart

24

As a planner and in the industry that critical thinking first before anything else, maybe my decision right now didn't reflect to my profession. It is something impulsive... intrusive thoughts and decision. But I still stand to myself that maybe it is not zero percent that I left or betrayed my profession to this decision.

Intrusive o impulsive man ito ngayon at walang kasiguraduhan, pero madalas naman itong sumasagi sa aking isipan sa mga nagdaang araw kaya baka sapat na rin ito? I always planned what will I'm going to do... in everything. Ito? I didn't plan this day to be like this.

"How was it?" tanong ni Ade pagkatapos ng kanta.

Hindi pa ako nakasagot agad, hindi pa nakakabawi, plus dahil na rin sa mga malalalim na iniisip.

Thinking is part of planning, right? I think of it even without the answer, so maybe it's still in the standard of planning. In fact, not all thinking has an direct answer even if you planned it well. We are uncertain for tomorrow. Things may not fall into what we planned and wanted to be.

"It's great," I huskily looked at him and smiled. "Make me want to say something about me doubting the uncertainty and tomorrow."

His lips open a bit and eyebrows furrowed. "What... do you mean?"

Ngumiti pa ako at tumingin sa karagatan. Tulad ng karagatan ngayon sa harap ko. The waves are not certain of where they will going... of where the wind want them to go. If they'll fade even before reaching the coastline or they will be able to go in any side of places. But still they continue, though. How will you know if you didn't try? If you even don't try? So maybe, trying is the key.

"I am a planner. I always plan and made sure that things will go exactly to the plan." I said, still on the wave, staring. "Pero there's this things I am uncertain. I don't want to risk because I know what may happened. Pero sabi nga sa kanta, how will you know if you didn't try?" I really believe that his song will be one on the top list. "Can I be honest to you, Ade?"

Nang balingan ko siya ay ang namumungay niyang mga mata ang nakita ko agad. It is staring at me like I am such a beautiful view he adored so much.

"I'll listen, of course you may."

"One of my uncertainty is our relationship." Nakita kong nagulat siya roon pero nakabawi rin agad. I smiled again, not one hundred genuine. I tore off my eyes on him. "You know that, right? That's my fear."

Lumunok ako at huminga ng malalim. Siguro nga kailangan kong magpakatotoo.

"Natatakot ako. Alam ko ang pwedeng mangyari..."

"But—"

"Yeah, I know. I need to try. I need to take a risk if I really wanted something."

"C, I am not pressuring you... it's okay if it takes time."

"I like you, Ade. I am attracted to you... your face... your voice... your whole you, you." Sinabi ko iyon ng nakatingin sa kaniyang mga mata.

There's a hint of shocked in his eyes but there's a good seeing in his eyes.

"I may have full of doubt to things... even my mind saying I shouldn't... my heart saying I wanted to be with you. I want to be your girlfriend."

Kung nagulat na siya kanina, mas ikinagulat pa niya ang mga sinabi ko ngayon.

Walang sense kung hindi ako magpapakatotoo dito. Maybe he deserves to know what I am feeling and my thoughts.

"Is... that a 'yes'?" my lips rose a bit. Gulantang kasi siya pero na managed niyang magtanong.

"Yes for what, Ade?" hamon ko.

"To be my girlfriend?" parang inosente pa siya roon kung makaasta.

"I like it,"