And Start Over ||SamxBucky||

(chapter 24 the memory)

It felt like ages, hours of waiting for the girl to respond, Sam just wanted to get back to bucky now, wanting to make sure that he was okay. He couldn't leave bucky alone for to long, he didn't know if he would possibly pass out or not. The girl did a few more things on the computer, typing away with her nails before she spoke. "Okay,....Whats his name" she said. Sam didn't really like her attitude much, she was more like a bitch than actually being nice over the phone. It made Sam boil with anger a bit but shoved it down for Bucky's sake. He bit his lip, eye brows knitting together with irritation. "I-its bu-james, James Buchanan Barnes" Sam said lowly, not even sure if the young lady heard him. She sighed and hummed in response, sounding like she was rolling her eyes as she did. God, Sam just wanted to fucking slam the phone down and just take bucky in himself, but he couldn't, Sam didn't just want to up and tell bucky that they were going to a hospital, he knew bucky would be a bit pissed off so he just needed to schedule an appointment so bucky can be ready and Sam can be ready when they leave.

Sam didn't know how to feel, he was scared, nervous, filled with anxiety, but most of all, nervous that this might just be something more than a fever or cold. It was still pretty early, it was around 7:20 so Sam was still pretty tired. Yeah, they woke up early a lot but lately they haven't been since for some reason they have both been really tired more later in the night than usual. The lady over the phone was clicking through some things when she found him. "Okay, so, we can schedule an appointment for 9:00 today, if you don't come around that time then you'll have to come in tomorrow" she said, still, her voice held that bitch tone that made Sam just want to fucking scream with anger. Sam rolled his eyes dramatically, shaking his head and walking around the room a little. "Yeah, that sounds absolutely fine, thanks for your fucking help" Sam said. He let out a puff of air as he brought the phone down and hung up the lady that was once on the phone.

He couldn't believe how she acted like that, it was extremely disrespectful. She doesn't even know what type of pain bucky is going through. Bucky was in so much pain, god he felt like he was going to die. Sam didn't know this though, he didn't know that bucky felt that much pain at this very moment. Bucky was good at not showing his pain sometimes and it worried Sam a lot. He put his phone into his sweat pants pocket and then started walking towards the bathroom where bucky was at. Sam was actually, genuinely scared that bucky would be laying in the tub passed out, that was one thought that ran through his head the most. He's never seen bucky in such a state, he looked like he was in complete hell. It pained him, it hurt to see the one you love, that you care about so so dearly be in misery. Sam gulped, swallowing dryly as he walked out of his bedroom. As he went made it to the bathroom, he opened the door slowly, knocking first to let bucky know that it was him. Bucky didn't even hear Sam, he just stared down at the water numbly as all the pain he was feeling ran through him like fucking title waves.

It was just like the old days, the times when he was the ruthless killer. Every nerve in him felt like they were almost getting torn apart, bit by bit, piece by piece. His muscles felt like they were almost on fire. His throat was in so much pain, head waved with agony, legs felt so heavy that he felt as though he couldn't even walk on them. Arm's were so heavy he didn't even know if he could lift them to grab onto something. His stomach hurt so bad, God it felt like a knife was stabbing his stomach over and over, it was the worst pain ever, no pain, no pain he's ever felt even when he was the winter soldier, he's never felt this much overwhelming agony. His breathing was slightly heavy, he tried his best to steady his breathing, to make sure that he didn't pass out or have an panic attack. That was the last thing he wanted to happen was an anxiety attack, panic attack. His heart thumped lowly in his chest, slow, to slow. It was a scary rhythm, the beat, it was very slow, it was thumping like he was dying, like it was his finale moments. Why, what was even the cause of such a horrible feeling, this thing, whatever it was, he just knew that when it passes, he hopes that he never, ever in his life feels it again-