And Start Over ||SamxBucky||

(chapter 28 Home)

The lady and Sam talked it over, not that big of a conversation, just small talk. She talked to Sam, saying that bucky was acting the way he was because he was sick. Sam knew he was, knew that he was being the way he was cause he was just completely sick out of his mind. She told Sam that they would have to talk about Bucky's self inflicted wounds and Sam nodded the whole time. He understood that he and bucky were going to have to talk it over. After the talk and all, when he finally went back to the room, bucky was still in the same spot but he seemed a bit better. It was like a mood swing. He was feeling ill woozy, light headed, and now he feels like he can control the woozy feeling in him, In his stomach but now he feels a bit better. It wasn't anything he could explain, it was just something that came over him and then left like it never happened. He really was just confused anymore with everything, not understanding what was going on with him.

He sighed to himself, watching the lady and Sam out the door talk quietly as they sorted whatever out. He didn't care what it was right now, but he knew he had a major headache but honestly, it was actually bearable this time, he could actually handle it and it made him a little happier. He was glad that for some reason he was feeling a bit better, but he couldn't just feel better all of a sudden, there had to be a reason to it, maybe when he was not paying attention or when he was zoned out a little bit ago the nurse put something In the tube/needle that was in his arm. He didn't try to think too much about it, he just wanted to be happy at the moment that he was feeling a bit better than he was a little while ago. He could handle a headache, it ain't like he never has before. He sat there for a good ten minutes before he watched Sam slowly walk in, his footsteps quiet against the tiled hard floor. He looked at bucky for a second then turned around, his shoes squeaked against the floor for just a moment as he turned around and very gently closed the door, almost like he was afraid that if he closed the door too hard it would startle bucky.

Bucky really appreciated how caring Sam was. He was so grateful that he had some like Sam, and he knew Sam would never understand just how much Sam means to him. Sam turned back around and faced bucky, studying him like he was a map, like trying to find treasure in a sense. He looked at him up and down, looking at his arms, face, body, hair, anything at all that he could lay his bright brown eyes on. Bucky and him just stared at each other, looking into each other's eyes as Sam slowly approached bucky. The room wasn't silent anymore, but it had very gentle music playing in the room that was calming and it was absolutely beautiful. Whoever was singing had an amazing voice. Bucky felt as though he had heard this song before, maybe on a radio or TV, maybe in a store, he doesn't know but again, it was very soothing and bucky loved it, and Sam did too. Bucky looked up at Sam as Sam made it towards bucky, and as he did, bucky couldn't help but wrap his arms around Sam's waist and land his head on Sam's chest with a little thump.

Sam didn't hesitate to pull back, he could just feel that bucky was going to say something that he really shouldn't. He closed his eyes and waited for bucky to say something, possibly anything at all that Sam knew wasn't true. Bucky listened to the music and Sam's breathing. He blinked once, twice, three times in a row, thinking that he was most likely just weak and that's why he can't fight this sickness off like he thought he could. It scared him more than anything. Death was a crazy thing and for him, he really to be honest was scared of death, scared to die. He hated watching even people in movies and such die because all he could think about was him, what he did to people back a while ago, all the people he brutally murdered for the simple fact that hydra told him too. He cringed a bit at the thought and let out a shaky breath. It slipping from out between his chapped lips and out to thin air as he felt the courage to finally say something after about thirty minutes of not saying anything.

Sam felt bucky let out a big breath and he knew what was coming and he really didn't want to hear it, he just didn't want to. He was already upset enough and he just couldn't bare what bucky was about to say. He's said it before, and it's tore Sam's heart like a bullet passed through it. "Sa-im sorry Sam, I'm so sorry this is all my fault and I caused all this pain on you-" bucky said kind of quickly because he knew Sam was going to interrupt him, but right as he was about to still ramble on just a little more, Sam stepped in. "Buck, stop that okay! This-all of this ain't your fault, this wasn't your fault alright. You didn't know this was going to happen, he never knew it was. And stop thinking you put stress or pressure on me because I don't care how much pressure...or honestly whatever type of pain i go through, because as long as your okay, as long as you'll be okay and you'll be in my arms I'm happy" Sam said, now leaning his head down and resting it on top of bucky head. His hair smelled wonderful. Sam absurdly adored the smell.