Junebug • TWD

15. Persistence.

"Oh, that's alright. Grass grows back in no time," Hershel tells me. He sits down on the step beside me. "Are you alright?" he asks. I only shrug. I don't know if I should tell Hershel about all the things that are bothering me. My dad might get mad at me. "Beth told me about you. She said you're a very sweet girl with great taste in fashion," Hershel says, nudging my arm with his elbow. 

I can't help but smile a little at that. "My dad says I look like a fool," I say quietly, in a tone that makes it sound like it's funny, even though it really just hurts my chest.

"Your dad is that man with the crossbow, am I right?" Hershel asks. I nod. Yes, my dad's the one who yells a lot and holds his crossbow instead of his daughter. "Sounds to me like he's the fool. One day, he'll come to miss seeing you wearing pink tutus and Disney boots. I sure miss when Beth was at that age."

"Well, maybe you can tell him that. He don't ever listen to me," I murmur. 

"He doesn't ever listen to you?" Hershel asks with a questioning tone. I'm not looking at him right now, but I bet he's raising his eyebrows.

"Not really. I try, but I don't think he cares all that much," I say, shrugging my shoulders.

Hershel is quiet for a short moment. "As I father of two daughters myself, I can assure you, he does. He cares more than you can imagine. Some just aren't able to show it as easily as others," he eventually tells me. 

This Hershel guy, he seems wise, like Dale. But I'm not so sure I believe what he's saying. He doesn't know my dad. He doesn't know what my dad's like or how my dad thinks. And he doesn't know much about me, either. He doesn't know how bad I am at everything. He doesn't know how much trouble I cause. He doesn't know how annoying I am.  

"How do I get him to show it, then?" I ask, trying not to be frustrated. 

"Persistence. Sometimes you've just got to make people listen," Hershel tells me. 

I gotta make my daddy listen. I gotta make him. 

"Thank you, sir," I say, hopping up off the porch steps with a brand new idea. 

"Of course," Hershel says, giving me a smile. I see Maggie standing in the window, smiling a little. Makes me wonder if she told him to go out there and talk to me. Either way, I don't care. 'Cause I've got a brand new idea. 

While Hershel goes back inside, I start running for my and Dad's tent. When I get there, I start digging around in his motorcycle bag, which is something I am never, ever supposed to do. But I gotta keep myself safe, and I know he's got weapons in here. Before I can find a knife in my dad's motorcycle, I find his old wallet, which is weird because I don't know what the heck he needs a wallet for. 

Anyway, I keep looking and I find a pocket knife and even a small pistol. I'm too nervous to take the pistol because Dad would get so, so mad if he caught me with that. I'm not supposed to touch any guns if he ain't right there beside me, telling me what and what not to do. And that's not one of those dumb rules that don't really matter like don't change the channel on the TV without asking first. It's a real important rule that he'll get actually, really, super duper mad about. It's a rule that I'll get a spankin' for not following. 

Once I've got this pocket knife, I start trekking off to where I know my dad went. I gotta be persistent. That was a vocabulary word in fourth grade, I think. It means to keep trying no matter what, no matter how hard it is. So I'm gonna be persistent. 

I'm gonna find my dad and I'm gonna make him listen. 

It's pretty easy to spot a horse's tracks, which is good news. So I start following along the tracks. Lucky my dad taught me to track. Or else I'd be lost right now.