Junebug • TWD

18. Junebug.

"Hey," my dad's voice right by my ear wakes me up.

My eyelids feel heavy, but I hold them open anyway. Once my vision clears up, I see that I'm lying next to my dad in bed, and my head's leaning back against his shoulder, and he's got his arm around my back. Last time I woke up like this, Dad was still asleep, and when he did wake up, he got away from me as quickly as he could. Not now, though. Now he presses a kiss to my hairline.

He doesn't usually do that. Kissing me, I mean. Not unless he's drunk or if I'm crying real hard and he wants me to stop.

I remember one time, when I was nine, Dad went out drinking with some of the guys he worked with. He didn't like drinking at home. Merle was supposed to be babysitting me, but he got bored of that after about an hour. He tried to just leave me home alone, but I cried and told him I was scared to be home alone at night time. Really, though, I just knew that Dad would get mad at him for leaving, so I didn't want him to leave.

The only difference that made, though, was that Merle decided to drop me off at Grandpa Will's house. I knew that would only make Dad even angrier, but there was nothing I could do about it because Merle never listened to me.

I was at Grandpa's, sitting like a statue on the living room couch, for about twenty minutes before Dad showed up. He was really drunk that night. He probably shouldn't have been driving, but he did.

Grandpa only hit me once before Dad got there, and it was because Merle told him about me crying and saying I was scared. I only had a little bruise on my cheek, but Dad was drunk, so he got really mad.

Dad was yelling at Grandpa, and then Grandpa punched him hard. Don't you yell at me, ya piece a' shit! I'm your fuckin' father!

You keep your hands off my kid! And then Dad hit Grandpa back, even harder.

They kept hitting each other until I couldn't take it no more and shouted Dad, stop! I wanna go home! Stop it!

After that, Dad finally stopped, picked me up, and walked us out the front door. Grandpa kept shouting, following us out the door. Yeah, ya lil' pussy! Get the fuck outta here!

That night, when we got home, Dad got a beer from the fridge and sat on the couch, and he didn't tell me to go to bed when I put Aladdin into the DVD player. He let me watch it, and he watched it with me. And he kissed my head that night and I fell asleep on the couch.

The next day, me and Dad and Grandpa all had matching bruises on our cheeks.

Anyway, I sit up and scoot a little bit away from Dad. He doesn't seem to notice. If he does, he doesn't say anything about it.

"You gotta get up and have some breakfast, June," he tells me, smoothing my hair over.

After my childish little meltdown last night, Dad read me the bird book until Hershel came in and told me he thought it was safe for me to get some rest. I was really relieved because I kept dozing off while my dad was reading and he kept having to nudge me awake. I guess I just fell asleep while Dad continued reading.

He's changing, my dad. And I'm not sure how or why.

"T-Dog's cookin' up some eggs outside-"

"I'm not hungry," I interrupt. I don't like eggs.

"-or Maggie said you could have anythin' they've got in the kitchen. Doesn't gotta be eggs, but you gotta eat somethin'," Dad continues on, anyway. He's not falling for the I'm not hungry lie no more. Not after Hershel told him that I'm malnourished.

"What about a popsicle? Am I allowed to have a popsicle for breakfast?" I ask, raising my eyebrows. I'm tryna get him to admit to his lie. I know he don't really mean I can have whatever I want for breakfast.