Junebug • TWD

5. Scared.

I don't know if Sophia knows what happened to her dad yet. I don't know if she cares, either. Seems to me like she doesn't really like her dad. I don't want to ask, though, because I'm scared it'll make her sad. I think she's actually scared of her dad. He's a scary man. I'm more scared of Ed than I am of anyone else. Dad told me to keep away from Ed 'cause he's a creep. I don't know what being a creep entails, but I know that Ed's gotta be worse than Merle, or else my dad probably wouldn't say nothing about him. 

Anyway, Ed's all angry, so he's hiding away in his tent all night. I ain't complaining, though, because now that Ed ain't here, Sophia gets to sit with me and Carl. We're sitting around the fire, watching Andrea cook up some fish. She and Amy went fishing using Dale's gear and they came back with a whole buttload of fish. 

Carl's been learning a lot already. He's learned lots of different knots from Shane. He learned how to hunt from me. And he learned how to skin a squirrel and how to catch frogs, even though we only caught one. And Amy said she'd teach him how to fish, too. But Carl's also taught me lots of stuff, too. He taught me how to multiply big numbers without doing the lattice boxes. I couldn't do that before. He also taught me about his cars. 

I think Sophia and Carl are my best friends now. I had a few friends in school, but I don't think I was anyone's best friend. They let me play with them at recess, but they never invited me to birthday parties or sleepovers. 

And whenever I tried inviting kids over for my birthday or for a sleepover, their parents always said no 'cause they didn't trust no Dixons. I get it, though. Parents wanna protect their kids, most of the time. They just get nervous about that stuff. I'd be nervous about everything if I had a baby. 

But with Sophia and Carl, it's like we're having a sleepover every single day. We just sleep in different tents, but other than that, we're with each other all the time. Sometimes we need time apart, though, because everything gets a little overwhelming after a while. But then we can hang out and play again. I like having best friends.

Sophia's already finished with the fish she had on her plate. We were having a race to see who could eat the fastest, but Lori made us stop because she said one of us was gonna start choking if weren't careful. Carl's almost done with his fish, too, and I still got, like, six bites left. Guess I am a slow eater. 

I always thought Dad was being dramatic when he said I'm a slow eater. Sometimes it'd take me so long to eat my food that he'd set a timer on the microwave and if I wasn't done by the time the timer went off, I'd get sent to bed without dessert. I remember staring at the numbers on the microwave, watching them count down to zero as I shoveled my mac and cheese into my mouth as fast as I could, just so I could have a popsicle after dinner. One time I ate a grilled cheese sandwich so fast because of that timer that it made me throw up. 

Tonight, though, I don't got no timer. I can just eat my food and enjoy, even if I'm losing the race that we're not supposed to be having because of it. 

"Pass the fish, please," Sophia says to Amy. Amy passes the fish over to Carol and Carol starts loading some more onto Sophia's plate. 

"Man oh man, that's good," Shane murmurs as he's eating his fish. 

And, man oh man, he's right. I love this fish. We been eating too much squirrel and rabbit lately. It's good to have something else for a change. Plus, this is extra fun, 'cause I usually sit with Dad and Merle when we're eating, but today I get to sit with everyone, together. Even Jim gets to sit and eat with us, even though he got heatstroke earlier today. He started digging a ton of holes because of some dream he had. It was weird, but he's better now. 

I'm sitting with Shane to left and Carl to my right, and Dale's sitting right across from me. I'm trying to appreciate all of them right now, but part of me is still worrying about my dad. He's still not back yet. I feel like he should be back by now.