The Damnation of Park Jimin | yoonmin

eleven

[trigger warnings]
this chapter contains the following: taehyung being a flirty bitch and trying to sleep with jimin again, but nothing actually happens aside from the brief sexual touching taehyung does
if any of this makes you uncomfortable, read at your own risk/don't read at all, your mental health is more important than my views (:

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—JIMIN STEPPED OUT OF THE CHURCH with a twisted feeling inside of his stomach. With a heavy sigh, he crossed his arms over his chest, and wandered down the street towards the bus stop.

In the past 48 hours, he'd been thinking nonstop about what Yoongi said to him, and what he had discovered in his research. Falling down the rabbit hole had been dangerous, leading him further and further down smaller ones, until he eventually stumbled across the phrases "abusive and toxic relationships,". The concepts had consumed him and after several more hours of research and attempts to understand his predicament, Jimin had concluded that he'd been in a toxic relationship with not only Namjoon but Taehyung as well.

Jimin did not know how toxic his relationship with Taehyung was, but he knew there had been a lot of manipulation on Taehyung's part. He'd manipulated him into thinking he'd give him what he wanted because of his innocence and naivety. Jimin didn't know anything other than what Taehyung had fed him, and couldn't discern the difference between right and wrong because no one had bothered to teach him. Jimin felt internally frustrated over that fact however; how long could he blame himself for something he could have easily taught himself.

The only reason why he was hesitant was because of how much truth remained in Taehyung's words; he'd seen for himself that he wasn't entirely lying to him over those years — that some of what he said had woven its way into society.

But Jimin felt guilty; Guilty that he hadn't been smart enough to figure it out on his own (but again he couldn't figure out if that was entirely his fault on his own). He should have known better, yes, but he'd been so confused in doing just that, that he ended up doing the wrong things. And it wasn't as if Namjoon had done anything to set him on the right path. He'd further confused him and kept him locked away from the world.

Taehyung had done something similar when he twisted his words to ensure Jimin would believe him, though with him, Jimin could see where he had gone wrong. He didn't think about what Taehyung had told him, so long as he was being fed the information he so desperately craved. That was his fault, he should have done more to question what he was telling him.

And Yoongi...Yoongi was something in between, but the more Jimin thought about it, he was more like Taehyung. Yoongi told him things, but he also gave him the confidence to look into himself — he trusted that he could do it on his own first before telling him what it was that he was looking for. Or at least, that was what it felt like.

So in the end, who was to blame? Was it him? Was it Namjoon? Was it Taehyung? Was it all of them or none of them?

Jimin would have to ask Yoongi the next time he saw him — it seemed like he had a better grasp on the idea than he ever would.