Start Over

Twenty-Six

"Well you can't go back in time and you did what you did because you wanted to. The thing is you didn't think about anybody but yourself at that time and it's very obvious that you regret it. I think Beyoncé knows you regret it however you're not showing her that you regret it. Actions speak louder than words and right now your actions are quiet as hell." She says bluntly

"You are starting somewhere though, you decided to start therapy like she asked. But you need to do this because you want to not because she asked you to." She adds on

I sigh loudly then I nod whilst slouching in the chair.

"You're right. I need to show her that I'm sorry. I need to show her that I'm committed to her and only her." I reply

"Also I'm doing this for everyone. I'm going to therapy for my kids, for Bey and more importantly for myself. I need to heal myself so I can be the best mother, and wife." I add on

"That's right." She agrees

"I made a mistake and.." I was about to speak but she quickly cuts me off

"You have to stop calling it a mistake. You cheated 3 times, a mistake is something you do and never do again. It wasn't a mistake, you knew what you were doing and you knew it was bad but you didn't care because you were selfish." She explains

"And you cannot be selfish when it comes to your wife and children." She adds on

"You're right. I was selfish, I didn't care who I hurt because I was only thinking about myself. Sex has always been a thing that helped me forget about my problems and that's not healthy." I respond

"Do your children know?" She asks

"No. The twins are so young that they don't understand the concept of infidelity. Blue is on tour with Bey and I don't she's told her anything about it because Blue hasn't talked to me about it. They see me as their superhero especially Blue, I couldn't imagine her finding out I hurt her mom in that way. I don't think she would ever forgive me." I explain to her

"What if you guys get a divorce?" She questions making me curl up my face in disgust

"I don't want to think about that.." I trail off

"I did a lot of bullshit to hurt her and I want to make it all right. Her divorcing me would kill me. I don't think I can live without her and I know that sounds fucking stupid because I'm the one who was unfaithful." I add on

"If she does want a divorce you have to understand why." She says while writing

"Yeah.." I trail off as I look down at my feet

3:30 pm

I hold Sir in my arms while putting a blanket over his face. I take Rumi's hand as we walk down the stairs of our jet. Once our feet touch the ground, cameras immediately begin to flash.

"Move!" Rumi squeals as she walks through the crowd of people

I chuckle softly as I rest my hand on her back to make sure she's still in arms length of me. Rumi adjusts her sunglasses while she holds her backpack on her shoulder.

"Is that Sir? Hi Sir!" I hear one of the paparazzi exclaims

I watch as Sir moves his tiny hand from underneath the blanket and he waves at them. The crowd of paparazzi begins to "aww" and the cameras begin to flash more than before. I chuckle softly as I continue to walk forward.