Phan&Troyler One shots/short fanfics

Secrets // Phan // Sad Fluff // Angst

Trans!Phil FTM!Phil 2009!Phan in a 2011 setting. They live down the road from each other.

Warnings- Mild Transphobia(?), Self hate, mildly implied suicidal thoughts.

Words: 1647

The video above isn't really related to the oneshot, but it was one of the song's I was listening to while writing this, so

(Please do not read this if you find any types of transphobia, suicidal hints or self-hate triggering. Also, if you're a bigoted poop face that "hates transgender people" then I'd advise not to read this, either. Stay safe kiddo's x)

———

Phil's POV

I sat across from Dan in our usual Starbucks booth, I'd asked him to meet me solely on the fact I felt it was time to talk to him about something I'd been thinking over for about 5 years.

I looked up from the cup I was intensely staring at while trying to figure out what to say, to see Dan staring out of the window with a thoughtful, but happy look on his face.

I took a shaky breath, running my fingers through the roots of my waist-length hair I hated so passionately.

"Dan?" I said quietly, the tapping sound he had been causing with his knuckles on the table stopped as he looked at me, clearly listening to what I had to say. I'd always liked that about Dan, he would always listen to whatever I was saying, no matter what it was.

"Phillipa?"(I couldn't think of another typically 'female' name that could have been shortened to Phil, don't hate me)

I cringed at the use of my name, taking an uneven breath as I sat my drink back on the table, after picking it up distractedly.

"I- Dan, I'm... I don't want you to hate me-"

"Why? Did you kill somebody?"

I shook my head

"Kick a puppy or small child?"

I shook my head again

"Then you have nothing to worry about, what is it?" he spoke softly, taking one of my hands in his. "You're my best friend, I couldn't hate you"

"Dan, I'm I-... I'm Trans... Transgender... Sorry" I mumbled as I felt a lump rise in my throat.

I. Was. Not. Going. To. Cry.

"It's okay"

"Sorry... Sorry, I know you probably hate me now and its okay if you do and I can leave if you never want to speak to me again and-"

"Hey, hey, stop it. It's okay"

I nodded, sighing heavily, only feeling slightly relieved.

"So, Mr I-don't-want-you-to-hate-me. I'm Dan, nice to meet you" Dan smiled at me, opening his hand as if to offer a handshake.

"I'm P-Phil..." I mumbled, shaking Dan's hand and smiling weakly.

"So, what do you say, how about we go get a haircut, Phil? It's on me" Dan suggested, finishing the rest of his drink before I answered. I gave a short nod, smiling as we got up and walked to the hairdressers Dan always goes to.