May we always meet again

Chapter 17

Clarke's POV

It was with mixed feelings that I started my duty at the hospital. The conversations of the last hours still accompanied me. We wanted to be friends, only could we? Would we be able to do that? I sighed. I was aware that only time would tell.

We would both need it, because I was still angry. Angry at her disappearance and angry that she still managed to confuse me. I tried to push all thoughts and emotions aside and went to the night nurse, who informed me and the doctor on duty of everything that was needed. She gave us the files of the patients who had just been admitted, and Dr. Jackson took me to see the patients. During the examinations, he checked my knowledge and asked me how I would proceed in each case.

Routinely, I answered every question and absorbed every piece of knowledge he gave me. As a first-year resident, you don't usually have that much freedom yet, but through my internship here, I had already been able to build up a certain reputation. That helped me now, of course.

Today was fortunately a quiet night, no big emergencies or at least nothing that went on too long, but that changed in the early morning hours and prevented my thoughts from going over the meeting again and again.

***

A few weeks had passed since the conversation in the café and Lexa and I had started writing messages to each other. At first they were still very tentative, for fear of making mistakes and jeopardizing our nascent friendship. Our meetings were similar, but as time went on they became a little more casual and so we tried to meet regularly, which wasn't always easy with our busy schedules. Especially because I didn't want to neglect Raven, Luna or work.

I took a deep breath in and out and tried to focus on the patient file in front of me. After reading it and ordering a few more tests, I decided to go get a coffee in the nurses' station. As I passed by, I nodded to my colleagues, who were just as tired as I was and whose dark circles were no less than mine. As soon as I sat down, my cell phone vibrated. But I ignored it for the time being. Four more hours. Four more hours of assessing, discharging and certifying patients dead before I could go home and pick up my cell phone.

Hey Clarke

It's ladies night at Dropship this Friday, no men allowed. What do you think, would you be up for it?

Lexa

What happened after the wedding still haunted me and the butterflies never quite went away. Mothballs notwithstanding. Ladies night was, could be, a dangerous idea. Alcohol, music, dancing, her in a dress, her without a dress... in my mind's eye I saw our only night together. Her fingers on my skin, her breath on my neck, my hands on her ass... Before it got out of hand I shook my head, trying to get every thought out of my head, but my heart beat faster just from the idea.

And that wasn't fair. After all, Luna and I had already gotten closer and the sex was good. Only this palpitating heart hadn't been the same until now. How could it? After all, they were two different people. That wasn't possible.

Instead of thinking about it further, I decided to wash all the work stress, the sweat I definitely had after a 36h shift, off my body and hopped in the shower.

Afterwards I felt better, not a whit wiser, but no longer stinky as if I hadn't showered in a month. Since I didn't feel like wearing clothes, I got into bed naked as I was and stretched. The bed linen I had changed only today and this feeling was indescribable on my skin.

My completely overtired self and my drunken self were apparently really cut from the same cloth, doing things that I probably didn't do awake or sober, or at least analyzed to death.